Someday, We'll Be
by novae mienai
Summary: something something summary
1. Strange

**AYYY HELLO so I'm currently going through a major restructure/rewrite of this fic, since I wrote it as I was easing back into writing, it's pretty rusty! If this is your first time here, I suggest you not start reading yet. I will try to have it ready before January ends. That is my hope! Or uh, I guess you could just keep reading, but keep in mind this is a draft and lots of stuff's gonna change. :)**

a/n: HELLO HELLO

So the plot of this one is heavily heavily influenced by a manga called Last Game by Amano Shinobu (where Rin's last name comes from). Please look it up, it's very cute. Although my story will be quite different...

Also. If you are not familiar with Harry Potter, you will have trouble understanding certain terms and concepts. If you have not read Harry Potter, I suggest you DO RIGHT NOW WHAT ARE YOU EVEN WAITING FOR. Although even if you don't want to read HP, please read my story anyway! I think you'll be okay.

* * *

chapter 1

strange

* * *

It was a normal first meeting that didn't leave the lingering impression of a fateful encounter.

The scene was the bustling train station during morning rush hour. It was the day of the train journey to Hogwarts, so the crowd was afloat with emotion. Len himself admitted to the awe gnawing at the tips of his fingers and toes; there was a big world out there, and it would be his as soon as he took that last step forward.

He helped his dad load his trunk onto the train. It was then that he noticed, out of the corner of his eye, a girl his age, struggling to heave her own trunk onto the car. For some reason, she didn't have an adult's hand to help her. It was clearly too much weight for an eleven-year-old girl to handle. He internally disparaged the station guards who'd left her to struggle all by herself. He was better than them.

Len tapped the girl's shoulder. "Need a hand?"

Her startled eyes met his. The moment wasn't soft and nothing particular snapped into place. It was a normal first meeting. She studied him for an unclear moment before nodding. "Sure."

Together, they accomplished the feat. It was easy with the two of them.

"Thank you," the girl murmured. Her quiet voice was drowned in the crowd.

"No problem." He smiled. "Are you a first year?"

She nodded.

"Me too. I guess we'll be seeing each other then." He held out his hand. "I'm Len Kagamine."

She shook his hand with a slight grip. "Rin Amano."

"So, see you, Amano." Len waved and returned to his dad.

* * *

"You can't win all the time, but the fight you put up is impressive. It's strange. Why do you want to win so badly? Losing isn't as bad as you think."

"Accepting a loss means giving up on the things you were trying to protect. My pride would never let that happen."

"Ah, I see. It's nice to have something you love enough to protect, isn't it?"

"It is."

"I think you're strong."

"Thank you."

"By the way, what kinds of things are you trying to protect?"

"Isn't it obvious? If you'd look just a little closer, you'd see."

* * *

 _someday, we'll be_

* * *

"I'm probably a Gryffindor." Kaito was sitting with his feet up, radiating confidence. "Both my parents were Gryffindors. I'm definitely a Gryffindor."

"Yes, but all four of your grandparents were Slytherins," Mikuo reminded him, adjusting his glasses. "I keep telling you, what your family got doesn't tell you anything about what you'll get."

"Nahh, it's a pretty good indication, I think," Len said. "Both my parents were Gryffindors, too."

Mikuo sighed. "Why does everyone romanticize Gryffindor so much? It's not special or anything. Just because it was the house Harry Potter was in—"

"Says the Ravenclaw," Kaito sniggered.

"And I probably am a Ravenclaw. And I'm perfectly fine with that. You two need to get over yourselves. I bet you'll end up in Hufflepuff."

Kaito laughed loudly. "Nah man, nah."

The conversation died away naturally, and the three boys fell into a comfortable silence.

"Where's Fukase?" Kaito piped up. He was referring to Satoru Fukase, the fourth member of their close-knit group.

Mikuo looked around the compartment, eyes widening. "Oh, wait, he's not here?"

Len straightened. "We've been here," he checked his watch, "an hour and a half, and we never realized we lost Fukase?"

The three boys burst into laughter.

"He's probably pissing himself right now," Mikuo said between snickers. "A first-year all alone on the train… He's probably hiding in the bathroom."

"I'll go look for him." Len stood up, still grinning at the hilarity of the situation. "Get some for me and him if the food cart comes around."

"Will do." Mikuo gave him a salute.

It turns out Fukase wasn't in the bathroom. Perhaps he was wandering the corridors, or maybe some sympathetic third-years took him in? Well, whatever. Len would find him, and find him good.

He went around, glancing through the windows of each compartment as he passed. When the curtains were closed, he'd knock on the door. Nope, nope, nope. No dice. Focused in his task, he didn't notice someone walking towards him—he bumped into them.

"Oops, my bad." He noticed it was the same girl from before. Rin Amano.

"It's okay," she said, and walked past him. Len watched her back for a second, and then, for some reason, hastened to follow her.

"Hey, it's me again," he said, catching up and falling into her pace. "Remember, from this morning?"

She looked into his face. "I remember."

She didn't speak much, did she? Not realizing he was supposed to be looking for Fukase, Len prodded her again.

"Are you muggleborn? It's just I've never heard your name before." He would have heard of the Amano family, had they been wizards.

"Yes."

"That explains it. So this must all be new to you, huh?"

"Yes."

"But you're happy you get to learn magic, right?"

"Not really."

"Oh? Why not?"

"Magic is strange."

 _She_ was strange. Normally, muggleborns were ecstatic to learn they had this special, latent ability graced to so few!

"What do you mean?"

"I've never seen it before in my life. Magic."

So she was scared. "That makes sense." Len supposed he understood where she was coming from. When she'd received her Hogwarts letter, she was dropped into a whole different world. "Well, I'm sure you'll be a great witch."

She inclined her head so slightly, it may or may not have been a nod.

"Say, where are you going? Where's your compartment?"

She shrugged.

"Oh, do you not have a compartment?" It was normal that she hadn't made any friends yet, being muggleborn and kind of shy. "Wanna come sit with me and my friends then?"

"Why?"

Len raised a brow, smiling hesitantly. "...So you don't have to wander the aisles like a weirdo?"

She gave him a long, intense stare. "Fine."

When they arrived back at the compartment, Mikuo quickly and discreetly released Kaito from a headlock.

"Who's that?" Kaito asked, indiscreetly pointing at Rin.

"Where's Fukase?" Mikuo asked.

Len slapped a hand to his forehead. "Oh, damn. I'll go find him." He nudged Rin inside the compartment. "Sit down."

Silently, she sat opposite Mikuo. Len hurried down the aisle.

It turned out Fukase was sitting with Miku, Mikuo's older sister, and her second-year friends. She was probably the only other person on the train who Fukase could sit with comfortably. When Len came, she wrapped both he and Fukase into an enthusiastic hug and expressed her hopes that both of them would be in Hufflepuff with her.

The compartment now held the group of boys, reunited, plus Rin, plus food. They were all feasting on chocolate frogs and Every Flavour Beans, minus Rin, who'd refused the offer. Len supposed she was loath to eat "strange" magic food.

"Are you sure?" he'd asked.

"I'm sure."

"You'll be seeing these foods for the next seven years of your life, you know. You'd best get used to it."

"No thanks."

It worked out better that way, since Mikuo and Kaito had only bought enough for four (rather, enough for four _to pig out_ —there would've been enough for Rin if they didn't all have the appetites of eleven-year old boys).

They continued their banter. Rin stayed in the corner reading—Len assumed she wanted to find out more about their world, from books. After a few failed attempts of bringing her into their conversation, they left her to her own devices.

Before they knew it, it had gotten dark outside.

"We're almost there," Mikuo observed.

"Ah yeah, we'd better change," Kaito said, stretching. He fished his robes out of his bag. Len turned to Rin with a sudden realization.

"Oh, yeah, Amano." The other boys froze upon reminder that there was a girl in their compartment. Len continued, "Before we reach school, we have to change into our school robes. You have them, right?"

"Yes."

"Good." He thought for a moment. "There'll probably be a line, but could you go to the bathrooms to change?"

She looked genuinely confused. "Why?"

Len was incredulous. What kind of idiot was so atmospherically illiterate? He could only wonder what kind of upbringing she'd had. How horrible her life must have been. She was like a failure of a person. He almost pitied her.

Mikuo took over. "We're all guys in here, so you'd best not stick around while we change."

She didn't seem to understand, even then, but she nodded and picked up her things. "Okay."

The door slid shut behind her.

"She's a strange one, huh?" Mikuo said, pulling off his shirt.

"She reminds me of this cousin of mine…" Fukase began.

"Everyone reminds you of one of your cousins," Len countered. Fukase had a lot of cousins.

"Why'd you bring her here anyway, Len? Who is she?" Kaito asked.

"I dunno, I just saw her walking alone in the aisles and felt sorry for her, I guess."

"Oh gosh, yeah, I felt bad for her too," Mikuo said. "I could just feel it. That she's on her way to becoming a loner."

"Some people are like that." Len shrugged. "That's the way the world works."

Rin didn't come back to the compartment.

* * *

The next time Len saw Rin was at the sorting ceremony. Her last name starting with A, she was one of the first to be sorted. She sat on the stool for a relatively long while before the hat shouted, "Hufflepuff!" much to Len's surprise—she'd looked like a definite Ravenclaw to him.

Fukase was sorted into Ravenclaw, which also surprised Len. He'd been betting on Hufflepuff for his auburn-haired friend.

Mikuo was also Ravenclaw, which was no surprise. Shame they wouldn't be going into Gryffindor together, but at least Mikuo was fine with the result.

After what felt like ages, it was Len's turn to be sorted. The hat felt surprisingly large on his head, the brim covering his eyes so all he could focus on was the hat's muttering voice echoing and bouncing off the walls in his head. It was a high-pitched, scratchy voice, but it had a sort of booming bass quality to it.

"Gryffindor, huh? That's a popular request, you know."

"I know. But I want to be in Gryffindor."

"You do, huh? Hmm, I see a bit of that in you. But really, I do see you as a bit of a Ravenclaw. Your friends are in Ravenclaw, aren't they? Don't you want to be with them?"

"I do, but I honestly don't see myself as a Ravenclaw."

"Oh really?" The hat asked. It put a strange accent on the words, like " _orillayyy_?"

"Really."

"Then, you see yourself as a Gryffindor?"

Len imagined himself in the Gryffindor common room, wearing the red-and-gold scarf, the red-and-gold Quidditch robes. "Yes."

"You're not thinking about my question," the Hat said, tutting. "Let me rephrase that. Do you think you're brave?"

"...Yes?"

"You're not thinking about it enough! Think before you answer, boy! I want you to think about it well!"

Why was the hat refuting him? He wanted to be in Gryffindor, so shouldn't the damn thing just put him in Gryffindor? It put Harry Potter in Gryffindor at his request, for Merlin's sake!

"I don't take requests indiscriminately." The Hat interrupted Len's thoughts. "The Potter boy thought I put him in Gryffindor because of his request, but that's only because I saw his bravery and thought him fit to be in that house. You, on the other hand… I will ask you again. Do you think you're brave?"

"...Ye—"

"THINK ABOUT IT!"

So he thought about it. Bravery, what was bravery? Being strong in the face of adversary… He thought back to when he'd killed a spider when his mom was screaming at the top of her lungs. The time he saved a neighbourhood cat from the ugly, angry neighbourhood dog. What else was there?

"What do you fear?"

Oh, jeez. Now he understood why some people took forever to be sorted. The Hat just loved to give people a hard time.

"I… what?"

The Hat sighed. "Boy, let me be frank with you. You are not brave enough to be a Gryffindor."

Len's heart leapt into a run after hearing that—it was like an insult.

"You're too fearful. You fear failure. You fear not being the best. You fear not being loved. You let your fear control you. You run away. You don't face what you need to acknowledge. Not that I expect you to understand anything I just said, so I'll just sort you now. SLYTHERIN!"

The hat was removed from his eyes, and he could see his surroundings once more. Shell-shocked, he noticed out of the corner of his mind that the Slytherin table was clapping for him, and that he should probably get off the stool and go over there. He had to hurry up, or the teacher would start yelling at him...

He hastily got up and went to the Slytherin table, smiling apologetically at his friends at the other tables. But inside, he felt like doing anything but smiling. He was a bit angry, but mostly confused. What… just what the heck just happened?!

He needed a nap.

"Congrats, Kagamine, welcome," a third-year Slytherin said as Len joined the table.

"Yeah, thanks, Yuuma."

"I didn't expect that at all, but hey," Yuuma shrugged. "I'm glad you're here."

"Y-Yeah, it was unexpected for me too." That was the biggest understatement he'd uttered since the last time his mom asked him how much of the ice cream he'd eaten… Which was two weeks ago. He'd inhaled the whole bucket because he was upset that Mikuo had beaten him in a game of one-on-one Quidditch. Anyway.

As he watched the next sortings, he supposed he didn't really mind being in Slytherin. Great people came out of Slytherin, and the idea that Slytherins were "evil" had died along with Voldemort a hundred years ago. It was more what the Hat had said that bugged him.

He wasn't brave? He feared failure and not being loved? He let his fear control him? What utter garbage! Did that hat think that just a few seconds in his head was enough to know him better than he knew himself?! Len was plenty brave. Sure, he didn't like failure and of course he wanted to be loved. But it wasn't like he was constantly fretting "ooooh no, I'm gonna fail," or, "ooohh noooo, no one loves me sadface." No!

But there was a tiny voice in the crevices of his mind that knew the Hat was known for its accuracy. Maybe it was Len who was wrong.

Yeah, no. Maybe the Hat's spell was wearing off after thousands of years. Could hats grow senile?

Kaito was sorted into Gryffindor. Len couldn't muster enough energy to feel jealous—he didn't have the slightest inclination to feel jealous. It was so strange. He just felt a little empty… Just… bad. He felt bad.

Then. _No_ , he thought. He couldn't get himself down over what the stupid hat said. It was a freaking hat. It didn't know anything. He would get over what the Hat said and not worry about it. _That_ was strength. _That_ was bravery.

He decided he would prove to that hat that his name was Len Kagamine, and that Hats were just hats.

* * *

"Ah, I think I understand now. What it is you're trying so hard to protect."

"Yes."

"It's yourself."

"It's human nature to want to protect the weak, right? Like how parents fight for their children."

"And you, you're still a child, yourself."

"Exactly."

"You're so fragile. You need to be taken care of."

"I do."

"I'll take care of you."

"And I'll take care of you."

"You're not as strong as you think you are."

"No. And you aren't either. But someday, we will be."

* * *

a/n: a bit dry this chapter, but i mean it's all setup I guess. it's in first year now, but I'll be skipping big chunks of time and i think the majority of this will be like fourth-fifth-sixth year maybe idk

Satoru Fukase is Satoshi Fukase, but I didn't wanna use the real name because I've felt weird about naming characters after real people ever since I met Asami Shimoda and then saw someone name Rin Rin Shimoda

it just felt weirdddd iunno

the floating conversation-y bits are kinda like, if you've watched evangelion, just imagine it akin to eps 25 & 26 lol. also anyone catch my alignment of Len to Asuka huh huh nobody huh

please review! with honesty! praise and concrit and blatant hate and everything is welcome :) esp concrit PLEASE HELP ME IMPROVE PLEASE *neon signs that say HELP ME IMPROVE I (WON'T) PAY YOU*


	2. Rivals

a/n: me: should I update twice in one day

why not. have it, and don't expect another update in 3 months

someone do my computer science homework for me i'll love you forever and ever amen :)

* * *

chapter 2

rivals

* * *

Len was good at magic.

Not just good, but really freaking good.

It hadn't become apparent until school, when he had the ability to show off his skills. But in every class, Len excelled. At first, it surprised him. He wasn't even really trying to do well. He just did his regular thing, and somehow his regular thing was better than everyone else's.

It pleased him.

He'd settled into his life in Slytherin. He made friends with his dorm mates—they were pretty cool. But Mikuo, Fukase and Kaito remained his friends. At first, they all teased him for not getting into Gryffindor like he was so certain he would. But after a while, they all forgot about it, and their Hogwarts life became something comforting and familiar.

It was in October that they had their first flying lesson. The Slytherins would be learning with Hufflepuffs—Len was upset at having been left out, since that meant the Gryffindors would be learning with the Ravenclaws, effectively putting Mikuo, Fukase and Kaito in a different class.

So Len trekked out to the school grounds that morning along with his Slytherin roommates. Gumiya was really excited, because he was the biggest Quidditch fan in the world, his part of the dorm drenched in Chudley Cannons posters and figures and other odd merchandise. Piko, a muggleborn, was looking queasy. Len tried to calm him.

"It's no big deal, really. All they do on the first day is make you go up and down, like two metres. You won't go high enough to get hurt."

"I hate heights," Piko said, trembling. Len clapped him on the shoulder.

They arrived in the field, where they found two rows of brooms, lying on the ground in two neat rows. Their flying teacher, a young woman called Madam Lapis, called the students to stand in front of a broom.

Len found himself between Gumiya and...

"Oh, hey." He held up a hand to greet her. Rin Amano.

She just nodded, and Len, having expect that, smiled wryly to himself.

He'd mostly forgotten about Rin for the past month. She was only in a third of his classes, and as he'd thought, she wasn't in any circle of people, let alone his circle of people. She ate meals early, so he didn't see her then. In fact, this was his first time talking to her since the train.

"Right," Madam Lapis said. "Welcome to flying class, everybody! Aren't you excited? I'm excited!"

Her enthusiasm met a mixed response.

"Right, I want you to all stand in front of your brooms. Don't pick them up just yet, right, and hold your hand right above it, like this." She stood next to her broom, a considerably newer model than the old school brooms which the students had, and held her hand at waist length above it.

"Everyone got it? Easy, right?"

Evidently not so easy, as there were many students who'd gotten the position wrong. They were standing with their toes pointed too closely, their fingers too loose. Len smirked. Some people just weren't born with the precise dexterity that flying required. Rin, for example, was standing way too straight.

Madam Lapis was going around to correct whoever had it wrong, but Rin was right next to him, so it'd be faster and more convenient if he were to put her right instead. Also he'd get to show off.

"Hey, Amano. Relax a bit. You're standing too straight."

She frowned. "Really?"

"Yeah. Just ease the tension around your shoulders."

She let her shoulders down, but it still didn't look right.

"You're still too tense. Loosen up."

"I am loose."

He chuckled. "No you're not. Here." He maneuvered behind her and grabbed her shoulders. "Keep them forward, like this. And don't keep your elbows so close to you."

He stepped back and admired his handiwork. She was standing properly now. Satisfied, he returned to his spot.

"Wow, so talented, Len," Gumiya snarked. "Why don't you just teach the class, you—"

"Shut up," Len shot, punching Gumiya's side. Just then, Madam Lapis appeared before them.

"Show me your positions."

After Len and Gumiya showed her their perfect positions, Lapis sang, "Right!" and moved on to Rin, whose position was also perfect.

"You can thank me, you know," Len told Rin.

"Thank you," she said, without expression.

Once she was sure that everyone grasped the basic starting position, Lapis returned to her own broom. "Right, now everyone, look at your broom straight on and say, firmly: 'UP!'"

The yard filled with the sounds of children yelling "UP!" at the top of their lungs. The broom was supposed to fly into one's hand on command—as did Len's, as did Gumiya's, and several other people's. It took others a few tries to get their broom up—Rin was having a bit of trouble.

"Speak louder," Len advised her over the brouhaha.

"Up!" she exclaimed, and the broom snapped into her hand.

"Thank me?" Len requested.

"Thank you."

The next step was getting on the broom. Once again, half the class did it wrong, so Madam Lapis had to go around correcting everyone again, and Len made her job easier by correcting Rin again.

"Try to remember this feeling," Madam Lapis advised. "Soon, getting on the broom will be as natural for you as holding a quill."

It was only towards the end of the class that they were finally able to get in the air. They were to take off, rise two metres, then come straight back down. Some kids, like Len, wanted to show off and so went up an extra metre or two. Some only rose one metre before getting scared and dropping back down. Rin, however, was an odd case. She rose the required two metres, then just stayed floating on the spot, long after the others had flown back down.

As Madam Lapis was busy attending to an unfortunate classmate who'd gone up too high and fallen ("Happens every year," she'd muttered), Len looked up at Rin, her hair glistening in the sun. She had a faraway look on her face as she stared up into the deep-blue sky.

"Oi, what are you doing up there?"

She snapped out of her reverie, but his sudden calling out to her surprised her and she fell off her broom, and it bounced off of her as she lay on the ground.

"Merlin, you alright?" Len crouched over her. He hadn't meant for that to happen. (Obviously. Who do you think he is?!)

"Yeah," she said as she stood up quickly.

"You're not hurt?"

"It was only two metres."

"Why were you up there anyway?"

"I don't know."

"Do you like flying?" He understood the feeling of not wanting to come down once you were in the air—the ground was like hell compared to the heaven of being on a broom.

"Not exactly," Rin said, thinking. "I'm not sure."

"Oh, okay."

The lesson ended there.

* * *

They'd had a test the week before. It was notoriously hard, the first History of Magic test—when he'd mentioned it to some second-years he was talking to, they looked at each other and said, "Good luck. You'll need it."

"I don't need it," Len said. He was too smart to be defeated by some dumb test.

"You'll get eighty percent, tops," one of them said. "Even Hermione Granger only got eighty-seven."

Coming out of the test, Len had to say yeah, it was tough. But not as tough as they'd all made it out to be. He was confident about it.

So when they were getting the results, Len was sure his mark would be pretty high, if not higher than eighty-seven (Hermione Granger was the school's best student in a few centuries, so he probably wouldn't beat her score).

"What'd you get, what'd you get?" Gumiya scuttled over to Len when the latter's test floated onto his desk. Len immediately covered his mark, not looking at it.

"Tell me what you got first."

"Fifty-two, but hey, it's better than half the class. The average was forty-six."

Len raised a brow. That was horrible, but then again, he was above that stress and strife.

"Well come on then," Gumiya pressed. Somewhere along the line, most of the class had gathered around Len to see what the smartest kid in their year had gotten.

Slowly, he removed his hand to reveal the number…

"Eighty-seven!" Gumiya laughed incredulously. "He matched Hermione Granger! He matched freaking Hermione Granger, I don't effing believe it…"

The class broke into whispers about how smart Len was, people were either patting him on the back or shooting him jealous glares, or bitterly muttering, "Well, it's Len, what did you expect?" Len basked in the glory.

But then, from across the room, Gumiya let out the noise of a dying cow.

"Holy—holy shit!"

Len, who'd been tipping his chair in a show of arrogance, let himself fall with a loud thump and called across the room to Gumiya. "What?"

"C-Come look."

He hurried over and found Gumiya standing over a certain Hufflepuff girl—Rin.

"What?" Len asked again. What about Amano could have Gumiya so excited as to swear in front of a professor?

When he saw it, he agreed that, yeah, holy shit.

At the top of the paper, in red, definite handwriting, was a ninety-five.

"Amano got a ninety-five!" Gumiya practically screamed. "Freaking Amano made Hogwarts history over here!"

His thunder stolen, Len felt his mood sour. It was childish to get this upset, but he couldn't help it. It'd never happened before. The class crowded around Amano just like it'd crowded around him, and now instead of Len, they were muttering about her.

"Congratulations! That's amazing!" People who'd never spoken to her before congratulated her, coming to check if Gumiya was for real.

He chanced a glance at Rin. She looked uncomfortable with the attention, as if wondering why it was that big of a deal. Instead of returning people's smiles, she stared back cluelessly.

She wasn't even enjoying it properly. Why did she need the attention if she didn't even know how to deal with it?

She'd never seemed exceptionally smart. She never stood out in classes. She'd just quietly take notes in the corner and performed averagely when they had demonstrations. Hell, she was muggleborn! Sure, Hermione Granger was also muggleborn, but she'd read half the Hogwarts library within her first week at school. And although Amano did read quite a bit, she and Granger didn't have the same studious quality. He didn't know how he could tell, but Len felt Amano had more important things to her than studying. Though the identity of those things was a mystery.

Even so. This was one of their first tests of the year. Maybe because she was so antisocial, she never told anyone her grades, which was why no one ever knew just how smart she was?

"Hey, Amano," Len tapped her shoulder to pull her attention away from a group of Hufflepuff girls who were asking her for studying tips—which they should've been asking from _him,_ mind. "Remember that herbology test we had the other day? What'd you get on that?"

"One hundred," she replied, turning back to the other girls.

"What?!" they practically screeched, their eyes shining with admiration—that _should've_ been directed at him. "You did?"

"I did."

"Wow, that's amazing!"

Len couldn't take it anymore. He stalked away. No one followed him.

* * *

The next day, Len laughed at himself.

Why did he even get so worked up? It was just one test. Actually, that herbology test Amano got a hundred on? He'd gotten a perfect score too! She wasn't better than him! How could he even bring himself to think that?

No matter how good her grades were, he still had way more than she did. For one, he could fly better—hell, he was the one who taught her the basics! He was pureblooded, she was muggleborn! He had money and things to spare, she was obviously much poorer, given how uncultured she was. He had _friends_. She didn't. That alone was enough to draw the line.

So really, it was no sweat. Be a gentleman. Let Amano do better on one measly test.

But, Len thought as he leaned over his potions textbook, it sure as hell _wasn't going to happen again._

* * *

The next test they had was Charms. Len wasn't in Rin's class, so he went out of his way to ask a Hufflepuff girl to ask Rin what she'd gotten. The Hufflepuff girl came back with an impressed, "She got perfect, can you believe it?!"

Len puffed up his chest. "Yes, well, I got a perfect too."

The girl's eyes widened. "Ooh, don't tell me, did you want to know her mark because you're _rivals_?"

Len nodded. "I guess you could say that."

"Cool, rivals!" The girl's eyes were sparkling.

* * *

Flying lessons weren't an actual class. They were, technically, "required extracurricular" lessons, for first years only. To get them used to flying in case some of them wanted to try out for Quidditch in the coming years. They only went twice a week from October until it got too cold outside to fly.

Their very last flying lesson was in the final weeks of November. They'd all bundled up in their scarves, but they were still shivering harshly.

"Right, everyone, show me what you've learned!" Lapis yelled.

So basically, it was free period but with brooms. Len and Gumiya kicked off for a race. Piko tittered just above the ground. Len and Gumiya knocked him around as they flew by, much to his dismay.

After a few races, most of which Len won, Len found himself flying up to Rin. She was slowly circling around one of the castle's lower towers, just staring at the wall, seemingly lost in thought.

"What are you doing?" He slapped the tower's wall with his gloved hand. "The architecture's not that interesting."

She looked at him, then back at the tower. Len assumed she wasn't going to grace him with a reply, but then she spoke. "I've never seen a castle before Hogwarts."

"Really?"

"Only in photographs." She touched the wall. "It's pretty."

Len flew closer to make conversation easier. "You know, my house is like a mini Hogwarts."

That got her attention. "A mini Hogwarts?"

"Yeah, it has towers and everything. It's smaller since we don't have a thousand kids living in it. But it's a big place."

For once her expression changed. She looked, not quite impressed, but… fascinated? "Why do you live in a castle?"

"Well, we don't call it a castle. It's a manor. But it's because my family is noble and we've got tons of old money. And it helps that my parents have high positions in the Ministry."

"Ministry?"

"The Ministry of Magic. Like our government."

She nodded slowly, turning back to the wall. "I'd like to live in a castle."

Len laughed. "Well you do, don't you?"

Rin's eyes widened. "Oh, yeah. I do." She smiled, which surprised Len, because had she smiled before? No, he would've remembered that smile.

Rin began to fly up, towards another tower, and Len subconsciously followed her. "Hey, Amano, I've been meaning to ask. Have your grades always been good? I mean in Muggle school."

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Why do you try so hard? You should relax a bit, you know?"

"I have to try hard."

"Why?"

"If I don't try hard, I'll get bad grades."

"And why don't you want bad grades?"

"Because they're bad."

"They're not so bad."

They flew silently for a moment.

"Then why don't _you_ want bad grades?" Amano surprised him.

Len jerked his broom up, so he flew above her. "Why? Well, because I want to be the best. I am the best. Isn't that why you want good grades, too? You want to be the best?"

She shook her head. "I don't care about being the best. Although..."

"Although?"

"It feels nice when people praise me."

"So you want attention?"

"I don't know," she said. From her face, Len knew she was telling the truth. She stopped. "Hey, Kagamine, we're going a bit high. I'm going down now."

Len hadn't realized he was leading them higher. They were approaching the height of the Astronomy Tower.

"Oh, yeah. I'll come too."

When they got back to the yard, Gumiya accosted Len. "Where were you? I was trying to find you! Why were you with Amano?"

"I wasn't with Amano."

"I'm not blind, dude, you just flew back with her."

Len grinned, pointing his wand at Gumiya's face. "Well, you'll be blind in three, two, one..."

"Okay, okay, you weren't with Amano, bloody hell!"

* * *

a/n: am I going too slow? are you all still interested?!

next chap will be in rin's perspective (probs) and we'll be skipping to like, third year. so they'll be thirteen. so there'll be much changes uhuh they won't be kids no more right uhuhuh

about british-isms. I'm not british and tbh I'm not even trying on the british-isms so forgive me OTL

reviewwwww :D pls pls

SINCE I DID 2 CHAPTERS THAT MEANS I SHOULD HAVE TWICE AS MANY REVIEWS RIGHT RIGHT WHat do you mean it doesn't work that way


	3. Runes

a/n: I made big? changes to the first chapter. It doesn't really matter if you already read it, but go look at it if you want? I think it's better?! lolol

* * *

two years later.

* * *

chapter 3

runes

* * *

Rays of sunshine shot through the castle windows like hot lasers. It was a mission for Rin to avoid being melted as she hoisted her bag down the hallway.

Classes were over for the day, and most of the student body was outside, cooling off by the lake. But Rin would rather get work out of the way before she took any time for herself. So she was heading to the library.

It was only mid-September, but third-year classes were already proving to be quite a bit of work. Not like Rin minded. She didn't hate work. In fact, being immersed in a set of problems or an essay was a wonderful state of mind to be in. School work was solvable. When you finished it, you were finished with it. She enjoyed the feeling of working towards a finite, definite goal.

She found a spot in the library, away from people and the sun. A nice, secluded corner, under a lower roof than the rest of the castle. She spread her books over the table. What subject should she do first… Well, she was struggling with Ancient Runes, so it'd be best to start with that.

Only…

Her Runes notebook… Wasn't there.

She double-checked the piles on the table, turned her bag upside-down. Poked her head under the table and chairs. There wasn't anywhere else it could be.

Did she drop it somewhere?

Impossible, but there wasn't any other explanation.

A small lump of panic was forming in her chest. She had to go look for it. Quickly, not bothering to pack up her things, she left the library and ran up the stairs. She checked everywhere she could think of.

An hour of wandering abandoned corridors left her empty-handed. Frustration swirled in her head. The walking had left her tired and sweaty in her school robes, and it was like she was carrying around the weight of her school books on her shoulders, even though she'd left them in the library.

Well, she should be getting back. Evening was coming in, and the library would be filling up with students who wanted to study before dinner. She didn't want to leave her table unattended for too long.

The most pressing issue, though, was the Runes homework that was due tomorrow.

As she stood frozen and indecisive, a voice called out her name.

"Rin!"

Miku hopped up beside her, posing in a cute way that only Miku could pull off without looking like she was trying too hard. Her teal hair clashed horribly with the black and yellow accents of her Hufflepuff uniform, but Miku pulled off clash.

"Hello."

"Hey, Amano." Len appeared on Rin's other side.

Miku and Len had been hanging around each other more than usual, Rin noticed. Had they become better friends over the summer? Rin knew that Len was friends with Miku's brother, so maybe the three of them hung out?

With Len on one side and Miku on the other, Rin was sandwiched into a situation she didn't want to be in. Even as she began walking, they followed her. She tried not to mind.

"So, how's life?" Len asked. "I haven't talked to you in a while."

Rin shrugged. The question was too open-ended for her to answer easily, so she didn't bother.

"How far are you in that Runes homework? Professor Mizki gave us a damn lot, didn't she?"

Oh yeah, he was in her Runes class. Could she ask him for his notes…? He probably wouldn't be nice about it… But then again, she really needed them.

It was a happy coincidence that he was asking about Runes, then.

"Speaking of Runes…" she began, and Len listened with a sparkle of interest in his eye. "Did you take notes for today's class?" She avoided his eyes, but Len stepped around to her front.

He smirked like he owned the world and she didn't. "Of course I did. What, did you think I just sit in class and not take notes? Heh, I wish. I'm not that smart."

"Len," Miku said in a warning tone.

Len cleared his throat. "Yeah, yeah. So? What about it, Amano?"

There was something strange about his behaviour. He was a faraway figure, so Rin hadn't interacted with him for months, and it wasn't like she knew him well, but something was different.

"Could I borrow them?"

He stared at her for a few seconds, evaluating something. The way he looked at her reminded her of the hot patches of sun in the hall—her instinct was to shrivel away.

"Oh?" Len crossed his arms thoughtfully. "Why?"

"I can't seem to find mine…"

"Why not? Did you lose them? That's rather careless of you—"

"Len." Miku came between them and grabbed Len's tie. A tiny "ah, crap," sounded from Len's throat as Miku tugged at his loosely-buttoned shirt. "Stop being an arse. Just give her the notes."

"I was going to!" Len spluttered, brushing Miku's bangs out of her eyes. Something fluttered between them as Len lowered his voice. "Calm it."

Miku pouted, pulling his hand off her face. "I only like nice guys, you know."

Len rolled his eyes, but it wasn't mean-spirited. "I am a nice guy."

Miku laughed despite herself. "Sure you are."

Rin felt as if she could leave without being noticed. The two of them seemed far away, despite being right in front of her. There was something almost like guilt tugging her away, as if she was trespassing on private property. But her need for Len's notes kept her heels rooted.

Len pushed Miku off of him with a humoured snort, turning to Rin. "Okay, fine. I'll lend you them." He pulled them out of his bag without having to search for them—he sure was organized. "Here."

She took the book, relief flushing her stress away. "Thank you."

"No big deal. Bye." He yanked Miku's arm and dragged her down the hall. Miku nearly toppled under the sudden force. She waved quickly to Rin, a note of apology in her expression.

She didn't have to apologize. Len wasn't nice to her, but then again, there were very few nice people in the world.

She found Len strange, though. There were aspects of him that she didn't understand. Like how attention-thirsty he was. Rin found that he was constantly shining spotlights on himself, as if he couldn't stand when no one was looking at him. It was kind of amazing. Didn't he get tired of it?

Pushing Len out of her mind, Rin opened his notebook. She flipped through to the last filled page.

He had neat handwriting. There was a loopy, excessive flourish to it. His writing matched his personality.

His notes were kind of difficult to understand, though. He used short-forms and references that Rin couldn't wrap her head around. Well, she couldn't complain. She'd just have to figure it out.

Finding her place back in the library, she settled on skipping dinner in order to catch up on Runes. She meticulously went through Len's notes from beginning to end and copied them into a new book—thankfully the term had only started, so there wasn't much to copy. By the end, her hand hurt, and she wished she was back at home where she had a keyboard. And a photocopier.

The homework was made more difficult by the fact that she couldn't understand Len's notes. But she was chugging her way through, slowly. She was about halfway through when a realization crept up on her.

Len was in her Runes class. That meant he had the same homework as her. Wouldn't he need his notes, then?

The homework was due tomorrow...

She had to get the notes back to him, then… She didn't want to be the reason why he didn't finish his work. He cared about his marks, she knew, so it wouldn't sit right with her to put him at a disadvantage.

No, wait. Len wasn't that careless. He probably took all that into account from the start. He probably had a backup plan. He had friends in their Runes class, right? He'd probably share their notes.

But none of his friends were particularly studious (bar Mikuo, but he wasn't taking Runes). Rin doubted they took notes at all, let alone good ones.

Why was she so worried about him? He was a confident, bright person. He could take care of himself.

But Rin hated being a burden.

She was going to find him.

She hadn't even finished the homework herself, but she packed up her things, acknowledging that she'd probably have to stay up late to make up for all the distractions. It was okay, though. She wasn't the kind of person who needed much sleep.

Luckily, she caught him leaving the Great Hall after dinner with his usual group of friends.

"Well, if it isn't Amano again."

Kaito and Mikuo let out light "hey"s and Fukase nodded sunnily. They were a friendly group. Rin felt herself relax—which was strange considering she didn't notice she was tense in the first place.

"Kagamine—you don't need your Runes notes?"

"Well, don't you need them?"

"Yes, but I don't want to keep them from you if you need them. They're yours, after all."

"Huh."

Rin felt a sneaking something on her head, and she froze. Len had threaded his fingers through her hair, feeling it experimentally. She wanted to step back, but it felt like there was a thin, ephemeral thread between them that would snap if she dared move.

"Aw, aren't you nice," he drawled.

Kaito was hiding peals of laughter behind his hand. Fukase was smiling nervously at the two blondes, watching from the side like a witness to a car accident. Mikuo was checking his watch, muttering, "Oh, come on."

Rin tentatively tried to duck out of his grip, but it was too firm a grip to let her break out without a fuss. Len noticed her small movement, though, and stepped closer, as if to prevent her from moving again.

"So, do you need your notes?" Rin tried again. "I can give them to you if—"

"I don't need the notes," Len said, looking as if his mind was somewhere else.

"Oh. Okay."

Several moments passed. Rin waited as Len stared into space, stroking her head like she was a cat.

...When would he be done?

...What was he even doing, anyway…?

"What are you doing?"

"Hmm?" His gaze focused on her. There was a perplexing shade of mirth in his eyes.

"Um, Kagamine?"

"What?" Now he sounded bored?

Rin was at a loss. What a strange, strange person.

"S-So you're sure you don't need the notes."

He withdrew his hand easily, rubbing it against his robes as if cleaning it. "I'm fine, Amano. Do you really think I'd be so stupid as to put you above myself? I've got myself covered. Relax."

He'd delivered his words like he expected her to give a reaction, but Rin simply nodded. "Okay. That's good."

"Unless." Len held up a hand, stopping her from turning around and leaving. "Did you want to work on Runes _together_?"

"...No. Why would I?"

He clicked his tongue. "No fun," he muttered, brushing past her. Kaito followed, after an uncertain glance at Rin.

"Sorry," Mikuo offered. Fukase smiled weakly. Rin looked back blankly as they all left.

Well, she'd better go finish that homework.

* * *

It was quite late as Rin tucked herself into bed that night. Her roommates were already asleep, so she did her best to not disturb them.

Her mind wandered to her notebook. She was positive that she'd put it in her bag after class. Where could she have dropped it? There were no rips in her bag. It was truly a mystery.

But then again, she was in a magic school. Maybe these things were normal in Hogwarts? Maybe a house elf stole it or something.

Well, it didn't matter anymore.

* * *

Len closed his Runes book, sighing heavily. Maybe if he hadn't been wasting so much time with Kaito stealing the first years' snacks, he wouldn't have had to work so late into the night. Still, the work was surprisingly easy using someone else's notes. His own notes were lazy and thoughtless. If he'd just put the effort into making good notes for himself, his life would be unimaginably easier.

Then again, he didn't have to now.

* * *

The next day in Runes class, Rin went to Len's desk and held out his notebook.

"Here."

"Thanks." Len granted her a smile.

She was halfway back to her own desk when Len called out to her again. "Oh yeah, Amano, come over here a sec."

Len pulled a book out of his bag. A pristine copy of the school-issue notebooks; on the cover, in neat, stick-straight print, was written 'Rin Amano - Ancient Runes'.

Len disguised his smirk of amusement with a kind smile. "I found this in the hall yesterday. You must have dropped it. So that's why you needed my notes, huh? Well you better be careful from now on, okay?"

Rin took the book like it was money. She stared at Len with astonishment. Len just kept smiling.

"Well, thank me, will you?"

"Thank you."

* * *

Len sat down that evening to do his homework. He let out a small laugh when he saw the fruits of his efforts, splayed on the pages of his own Runes notebook.

There, in straight, neat writing, were the notes Rin had taken for today's class.

He'd been struggling with Runes—it was a famously difficult subject—and was honestly kind of worried for himself, so he only did what he had to do. The spell was an advanced one, but Len was able to master it.

To get the enchantment to work properly, he'd needed to keep Rin's notebook for a night, and he needed her to keep his. His plan was rough, but he'd improvised his way through it. In the end, Rin had acted exactly as he'd expected her to, and voila. Here he had his key to doing well in the class.

She'd make a good study buddy.

"Thanks, Amano."

* * *

a/n: I am ahead in writing this so weekly updates might be a thing? they'll be more of a thing if you (((review))) also I am really happy with my quality of writing for the next chapter and also my plans up to chapter 7 sooooo! I'm excited, I think. I'm starting to like this story.

next chap, we skip to fourth year! that's the last time skip for a while, I promise.

review for love :D


	4. Genie

preamble done. let's get this ball rolling.

* * *

one year later.

* * *

chapter 4

genie

* * *

He'd broken up with Miku before the start of fourth year. He really did like her, and she was fun to be around (though he'd never say that to her face), but they just didn't click in that way. She was too energetic for his down days, and he was too high-up to see level with her. They parted on mutual terms, and even after they broke up, he could've sworn Miku hugged him with the same too-frequent frequency.

He preferred being single, anyway. He figured he was too young for anything serious. Relationships were a lot of work. So he decided to just enjoy himself while he could.

With his pureblood heritage, he'd probably end up in an arranged marriage anyway, so there was really no point.

Somewhere between third and fourth year, Len's popularity broke out like a case of acne. He realized Miku might have been holding him back, because as soon as word got out that they were no longer together, it felt like there was a girl following him wherever. He. Went.

"I noticed you first," Miku grumbled, tugging on his sleeve like a grumpy baby. "They only want you now 'cause I had you first."

Extricating himself from Miku's grip, Len coughed, "Yeah, totally."

Not.

He found himself being particularly nice to those girls, though. He complimented them on things that didn't really deserve complimenting, and supported them even though he couldn't care less. "Your haircut suits you," he told the girl whose hair writhed like a bucket of worms. "You'll do fine on that potions test," he told the girl who couldn't go a week without melting her cauldron.

"It's not fair," Gumiya was whining. "It's just because you're smart, and you happen to be rich, and you happen to be good-looking. It has nothing to do with your personality or anything that matters."

Len didn't look up from his book—another enchanted notebook he'd managed to fix from Rin. "You're just bitter 'cause Yukari rejected you."

Yukari was a sore spot for Gumiya, because while she rejected the green-haired Slytherin, she clearly had a thing for Len. "What does she see in you, anyway?! You'd make a horrible boyfriend!"

"You would know, Gumiya."

So yes, life was going well for the fourteen-year-old. He was on top of his world.

Well, mostly, anyway. There was still one victory which wasn't his… Yet.

Ever since first year, he'd never beaten Rin on one test, exam or assignment. Not even one! He would've grudgingly accepted it if he could beat her, say, half the time. That would've been reasonable, if not aggravating. But no. It was like there was a Greek god or karma demon against him, somewhere.

He hated it. Especially how she'd win without even caring that she'd just accomplished the impossible. "It's not important," she would say. "If you want to beat me, just try harder."

Taunting words that weren't even intentioned to be taunting. He hated her not caring when he cared so much.

 _Just try harder._ He was freaking trying harder! He was trying as hard as he could! She never saw him, throughout all those years, tearing his hair out the night before an exam because he was crumbling under the self-inflicted pressure of having to beat her. She didn't know. She didn't know.

It was only after an eternity of pointless fretting that he realized: no matter how honestly and earnestly he studied, he _couldn't_ beat her. It was just not possible. Against the unwavering laws of the world. It was a crushing realization.

With the taste of regret which he knew would never fade as long as he lived, he'd resorted to cheap tricks like the enchanted notebooks, but even then, the gap between their achievements hardly shrank a millimetre. When they'd gotten their overall exam marks at the end of third year, Len could have spat fire, he was so upset. Rin had gained the number one spot by a whole six percent over him—a hundred and two versus ninety-six.

"It's not her fault, Len," Mikuo said, always the voice of reason. "It's just that you're not as smart as the Amazing Amano—"

"Sod off, you piece of rabbit dung." Len fisted his six percent of heartbreak, reducing it to the garbage it really was. "Someday, I'll discover her secret, and then I'll—"

Win.

He believed, with complete certainty, that there was no intrinsic difference between Amano's intelligence and his own. He considered them born evenly, blessed with equally great minds. (Although maybe his was just a bit sharper.) There just had to be something, in her study methods or daily routine, a spell or mantra or prayer, maybe she did like, yoga every morning—just something she had that gave her that slight edge over him. There was no other explanation, after all—there was no way, _no way_ that she would be able to beat him _every single time_ without some kind of trick.

He was going to find it.

* * *

They were on the Hogwarts Express once more. Len rolled up his sleeves as he boarded, a man with a mission.

With his tremendous influence, he'd managed to secure a train compartment all to himself. "What do you even need it for?!" his friends had asked, and Len just held a finger to his lips and smiled.

He made his way through the aisle, checking the compartments for a certain someone. It brought about a nostalgia for first year, when he'd been doing the exact same thing, searching for Fukase. Except this time, he was looking for…

"Amano. Found you."

She was sitting with her Hufflepuff roommates. She was staring out the window, not really bothering with the other girls' conversation… which, as a side note, sounded suspiciously like it was about him.

The girls froze when he opened their compartment door.

"Hey, Len!" One of the girls, Seeu, he knew from around here and there. He gave a small wave, which she returned vigorously.

"What can we do for you?"

"Amano."

"Rin?" Seeu's eyes followed Len's, and all eyes turned to Rin. She looked away from the window, only just noticing the visitor to their compartment. He grinned at her, only her.

"Wanna come with me for a sec?"

Right on cue with Len's mental script, Rin frowned. "Why?"

"I want to talk to you," he replied, without missing a beat.

So the two of them left the compartment, the girls tittering as Len shut the door. He led Rin to the compartment he'd reserved earlier.

Rin shook her head. "It isn't right to hog a compartment."

"Relax, relax," he said, sitting down. "People do this all the time." Which was true—while looking for Rin, he'd accidentally interrupted a pair of sixth-years who'd been engaging in, ahem, _private_ activities. That was the absolute opposite of what he'd brought Rin over for, but anyway.

"That doesn't make it right."

Len gathered his irritation and put all that power into the brightest smile he could muster. "Amano, why don't you sit down?" He gestured to the seat across from him. She sat, but didn't relax.

"What did you want?"

He shrugged. "You heard me before. I just wanted to talk."

"Huh? Why?"

She was denser than the pure-gold watch on his wrist. Surely not normal—no _normal_ girl would react so indifferently when Len Kagamine wanted to talk to them. "It's nothing, really. Why don't you tell me about yourself, Amano?"

"Why?"

"I just want to know you better." Never have those words been spoken more passive-aggressively.

She was skeptical, and she furrowed her brows. "There isn't much to know."

"Now, you know that's not true."

"How would you know?"

He leaned back in his seat, at the same time raising himself forward. "Hm, well, you see, I've been watching you, Amano."

"...Why?"

He laughed, not in any controlled way, but because she was so freaking ridiculous. Actually, the whole situation was ridiculous. "How could I not? You're the top of our year, yet you act like it's no big deal. It's amazing." Amazingly irritating.

"But it isn't a big deal."

Strangely, the more pissed he got, the more chocolatey kindness he dipped his words in. "See, that's what I mean. You should be more proud of yourself."

"They're just grades. They don't mean anything."

"Really, now? I think they mean a heck of a lot."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, good grades are a matter of pride. I think, I think they're a representation of the people who have more potential than anyone else."

She seemed to think about his words seriously, at least, which gave him some satisfaction. "So, following that logic, I have the most potential out of our year?"

His smile grew wider, the annoyance inside him puffing up like the air in a balloon. "Yes."

"Potential for what?"

"Being great, I guess. You'd be the one most likely to be Minister for Magic, maybe the healer who discovers how to cure Spattergroit. The Auror who's apprehended the most dark wizards. Stuff like that."

She nodded slowly, but then said, "I don't think I'm that great."

Len silently agreed. "Why not?"

"I'm not very good at magic. I'm just good at school."

"But school is basically magic."

"I don't know." Rin glanced out the window. "I think you would be greater."

"Huh?" Len drew backwards, although the compliment did pump him up. "You think so?"

She nodded. "You're great at school, and flying, and you're very popular, and you always seem to know what you're doing."

"Haha, that's true, isn't it?"

"Plus you've been around magic your whole life. It's still very new to me."

"Really? Even though you've been here three years?"

She nodded. Len found himself scratching at the ground for things to say.

"W-Well, you'll get used to it. You have a whole life of magic ahead of you."

"I suppose."

The conversation lulled, and Len suddenly remembered what he'd brought her here for in the first place. Ugh, he'd gone off track. Well, it was okay. He'd gotten a compliment—if you could call it that—out of Amano, which gave him more satisfaction than it should've.

"Say, Amano." They locked eyes for several long seconds—Len wondered what could possibly be lying behind those eyes, in her mind. "You know what a genie is, right?"

"Of course… We learn about them in Care of Magical Creatures."

"Right. Wouldn't it be cool if you were to find one? And get any wish you want?"

She shrugged. "That would be very unlikely. We're in Scotland, and genies are native to the rivers of the Ivory Coast—"

"I mean hypothetically," Len snapped. "What if. Just pretend you found one. What would you wish for?"

She fixed him with a strange look, and internally Len told her, _I know, it's a weird and personal question, and like hell would I care about your weird personal affairs, but just play along, please?_

"I don't know," she said slowly. "I would probably think about it for a while before I decided on anything."

What a buzzkill, seriously. "Yes, okay, but this is an impatient genie. He'll only grant your wishes if you tell him right away."

"...Is he a nice genie?"

Len laughed. "I guess so? But why would that matter?"

"Because," she said, seriously—Rin didn't joke much, "if he was a mean genie, he would find a way to twist my wishes and end up giving me the opposite of what I want."

"What? No, no, that's not how they work. They always give you what you want. Even if they happen to be mean. It's their job."

"Oh." She paused. "So you've never heard of The Monkey's Paw?"

"I know The Monkey's Paw. But what's that have to do with anything? We're talking about genies here. They're safe. They're not like Monkey's Paws."

"Oh, okay. Sorry. I got them confused for a second. They're—Monkey's Paws and genies—they're Muggle stories, you see."

"Ah." He didn't know that. "But anyway, enough of that! I want to know what you'd wish for!"

"I have three wishes?"

"Yeah."

"Are there any limits to what I can wish for?"

"Let's limit it to things that are within reality. So you can't wish for eternal happiness. That's impossible. Oh, and nothing too broad. Like, no ending poverty or war. Just keep them about yourself."

"…This is difficult."

"Just pretend it's a question on an exam."

"They would never ask something so individual on an exam."

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

After a few more moments, she seemed to have come to a decision. "These might not be the best uses of my wishes, but since the genie is impatient, I guess I'll just say them."

"Haha." He laughed, but internally, anticipation was chipping away at his humour.

She looked straight at him as she answered, a genuine gaze for a genuine answer. And he, for all his insincerity, looked away. As she listed the three matters that lingered most distinctly at the core of her heart, she counted on her fingers, and Len almost smiled at the vague childishness of the gesture. "I would wish for my family's health. Enough money to last until the day the last of us dies. And… and, a best friend."

Rin scrutinized Len, expecting a response. But he was too busy processing the information to give an immediate reaction.

The answers were just what he expected. Typical of Amano—typical of a lonesome, righteous, nerdy girl like her. What struck him was the sheer _goodness_ of her wishes. He didn't doubt she was serious, but still, he bitterly wanted to think that it was all part of some innocent, good-girl facade. That she was actually as evil as he wanted her to be.

The first one was a good one, he admitted. In fact, if _he'd_ been the one to find the genie, he would've wished for health as well. Health was one thing that wasn't guaranteed for Len, despite his brains, looks and prestige. You couldn't earn health by scoring well on a test, and no one could gift it to you, no matter how much they loved you, and you most certainly couldn't buy it. Health was random, and it was an unpleasant representation of all the things Len couldn't control with his own hands. Health lay in no one's hands.

The second one was the one that made him smirk. Money. He'd never had to worry about it himself. He'd had the suspicion that Amano wasn't particularly well-off, and now it was confirmed. Her second wish, he decided, was his saving grace. It was the one he could manage. As her genie.

And the third one. It almost made him laugh, out of sheer pity. It was such a pathetic thing to wish for—and he didn't think himself cruel for thinking so, because it was just _true_. Only the most hopeless, meekest of human beings would have to _wish_ for friends instead of actually getting out there and making some. Making friends was so easy. Even _she_ could do it, if only she realized it. Her belief that she could only make friends through magic was so childish, so naive, he almost wanted to reach out and hold her hand and warn her of life's _real_ challenges.

Almost.

"Hm. Interesting. Very interesting."

An almost-invisible, uncharacteristic blush spread across Rin's cheeks. "I think they're very standard wishes."

"Hm, really."

"Yes. Everyone wants health, money, and friends."

"True." A long moment passed, which Len used to both tread suspense and gather his thoughts. "Okay, then, Amano. I dunno about the first or last one, but I can definitely do the second one."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," he said, slanting towards her, "I'm your genie."

Rin's eyes widened, the blue pools of her irises growing like a puddle sprawling in heavy rain. "Huh?" A swift noise of uncertainty from the most certain girl he knew.

"Okay, listen up, Amano," Len said, somehow getting serious. "You know my family is really rich, right? Of course you know. Everyone knows."

"Yes."

"But I don't know if you know just _how_ rich I am," he said, consciously switching to the first-person pronoun— _him_. Not his family.

"I know you live in a castle," Rin supplied.

"Manor," he corrected. He remembered that conversation, all the way back in first-year flying lessons. It seemed so far away. "Yeah. Well, there's enough in my Gringotts vault to own hundreds of manors."

"What would you do with a hundred manors?"

Len held up a hand, trying not to laugh. "I didn't say I wanted to buy a hundred manors. All I'm saying is that I have enough to grant your wish. I can give you enough to last until the day you die."

"But…" She wasn't quite distressed, but there was a tinge of uncertainty in her voice. "Why?"

"Well, there's something that I want. Y-You didn't think I was doing this for charity, did you?" He looked at her, also uncertain. She shook her head.

"No, but… No."

"Right. Good. Well, Amano, what I want is your… let's call it your method."

"Method?"

"For studying."

Realization dawned on her face, as if it just reoccured to her that Len was a primarily selfish person.

"What do you do to get such high marks?" Finally, for the first time in their conversation, was a spark of passion in his speech. "There must be something you do that's different from what I do that gives you that tiny advantage. Tell me your secret."

"Secret?" Rin scrunched her brows. "Well, it's not really a secret, but, well, I just work hard."

Len smiled gently. "Yeah, I know. Actually, in case you didn't know, I work hard too."

Rin nodded. "Of course. You, Len, you work very hard."

His first name? Since when did she…? He shook the thought from his mind. "Yes, yes, anyway. Besides working hard. There's something else you do, isn't there?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Like what?"

"I-I don't know. Like, is there a certain spell you use to help? Maybe there's a special song you always listen to when you study? Do you—Do you do yoga every morning?"

"How do you know what yoga is? I thought it was a Muggle activity."

"My mom—ugh, who cares about that?!" Len tossed his wand up like a baton, letting sparks dust the compartment in light before catching it back in his firm grip. "Just, just tell me what your secret is."

Rin shook her head emphatically. "You must be mistaken. There's no secret. I don't have a spell. I don't listen to music. And the only yoga position I know is downward dog."

His mind betrayed him and he imagined, for a split second, Rin doing the downward dog on her desk before final exams. He facepalmed the image away. "No, not those things specifically. Just… I-I don't know. Maybe you're not aware of it. But there's obviously something."

She shook her head again. She looked at him with real meaning and steadfast intentions, although her voice was still light as ever. "No. I told you, the only way you can overtake me is your own hard work. There's no secret method to success."

"No, Amano." He couldn't accept what she was saying, because it was freaking ridiculous. "It's not a secret method because _you're going to tell me_."

"There's really nothing."

"Oh, come on! I'm offering you a lot here."

Rin paused. "Len. I don't care about being better than you."

Len felt his temper tick at those words. Rin didn't notice.

"If you want to beat me so badly, I'll lower my grades on purpose. It doesn't matter to me as much as it matters to you."

What a joke! Did she really just say that?! Len might have slapped her if he weren't a civil, sophisticated guy. "Did you really think I would agree to that? I want to win fair and square!"

"Really." Her expression remained stony as ever. "Those enchanted notebooks didn't seem fair and square."

"H-How did you know about that?!"

"Miku."

Miku, that little—Len was going to have a serious talk with her.

"I don't care about that," Rin went on in her irritating way. "If you wanted my notes, you could have asked and I would've given them to you."

Len held up his hand. "We're getting off-topic." He wanted to turn the attention away from his little bout of cheating. "Can we get back to your method?"

"There is no method." Rin didn't seem exasperated at having to repeat herself—her eyes displayed only earnesty, the desire to get her message—her _lies_ —through to him.

"Maybe—maybe not that you're aware of." He felt like they were going in circles. "But just _think_ about it, Amano. Don't you do something that no one else in the school does? Something that helps you study, or concentrate on exams…"

"Len. All I do is work hard. Please understand."

She wasn't unpassioned, but the calmness in her voice gave him the impression that she was trying to assure him, which sent Len's temper off the edge. "No, _you_ understand! I've been trying for the past three years to beat you, but all you can do is calmly tell me to try harder! Do you know how frustrating that is?! Why—Why don't you just tell me? Is it something you need to hide so badly?!"

She didn't look at him, but it felt like she was seeing into his soul anyway. "This is getting annoying."

And that was the last straw for Len, that her first show of emotion was so unsympathetic. Yet, in his heatedness, there was a streak of cold triumph. "I'm only getting to you _now_ , huh? Well you've been getting to me for three years."

She, in her inexperience, couldn't find a response. The streak of cold triumph became a splatter, and Len seethed, "Go to hell, Amano." And he slammed the compartment door shut behind him, so hard that it just bounced back open again.

Rin sat staring after him. The train was chugging along, fast as ever, but she felt like she was sitting absolutely still in the eerie calm after the storm.

How he could go from being so nice to so utterly mean scared her. The frivolity of his smile and the readiness of his temper reminded her of the most unsettling things in life. He was extreme and temperamental and cold, but it was all underneath a blanket of calm and nice and generous and several other nameless things. She didn't like to ponder too much on the mysteries of other people, yet, she found herself stuck on him even after she could no longer hear his last words ringing in her head.

 _Go to hell, Amano._

Her emotions were taken to higher levels by the fact that he was practically a stranger, yet he spoke as if he knew her so well. It felt invasive, and she was shocked to think that he'd been watching her all this time, watching for how he could beat her or when was the right time to pounce. She didn't think of him when he wasn't around, but apparently, he thought of her.

Her calm felt so far away. She felt like something—maybe small, maybe significant—changed when Len left the compartment.

"Hey, are you okay?"

There was suddenly, again, a boy sitting across from her. Not Len, though, thank God. It was one of his friends. The one that'd always seemed like the quietest, most thoughtful of the group. A boy from Ravenclaw whose name was on the tip of her tongue…

"Satoru Fukase. Hi, Rin. Len always talks about you." He smiled with both inner and outer gentleness. Rin felt the shift in mood like the soft plink of a piano in diminuendo.

"Does he?" She didn't want to talk about Len, but.

"Yeah. It's… never very good, though."

"Yeah, I know."

"I saw Len just now. He looked really angry, and it was like… Well, I wanted to apologize for him, I guess. If he said anything."

"There's no need for you to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong."

Fukase's smile had the weak yet warm quality of a dim lamp on a late night. "Yeah. I guess I just came to check if you were okay."

"...Thank you."

"So, you're okay?"

"Yeah."

"I'm glad." His eyes shifted to the open compartment door, as if Len was standing there with his hands on his hips. "Can I... ask what you guys talked about?"

"He..." What did they talk about, anyway? "He offered me money for my secret."

Fukase wasn't sure what that meant, but he could tell Rin had already closed herself up about it, so the conversation was over. "...Hey, Rin. Um, I know we don't really know each other, but can I ask you to do something?"

"What?"

"Don't let Len win, okay? I mean, if he wins on his own merit, it's not a huge deal, but don't lower yourself just to make him happy, okay?"

It was like the sun peeked out from over the horizon. "I won't."

* * *

a/n: just so you know FUKASE AND RIN ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING TO BE LOVE INTERESTS OK

i hate love triangles so yeah. though that doesn't mean I won't include any. I will if I deem it necessary. Probably won't but

ugh len has some embarrassing lines this chapter huh? "I've been watching you," and "I'm your genie" ughhhh my headcanon is that he gets really embarrassed about it after, but I'll leave that to your imagination ;)

question for you all. does len annoy you? is he too haughty? or do you like this type of character? he's basically like a certain breed of draco malfoy lol maybe they're related or something?!

In the end though, I'm quite happy with this chapter. The next one is pretty nice too, but maybe I'm biased.

oh and sorry for changing the summary so much but I get anal about these things ehehe

review please! and please say nice things to me bc I got yelled at by my orthodontist today and I really don't like orthodontists and also in math class I accidentally farted and the people behind me were giggling behind my back and then I thought I saw my friend in the hall so I waved but it ended up being some random person instead and I owe this other friend five bucks but I can't seem to find five bucks and I think orthodontists should all be tied up and forced to watch the Big Bang Theory for the rest of their frigging lives


	5. Moments

chapter 5

moments

* * *

The sunset sprinkled a sort of tiredness over the rattling Hogwarts Express. The four boys were back to sitting together in a compartment, but none of them were talking.

But then Fukase turned away from the light of the window and faced the darkness of the brooding boy in front of him. "Len."

A grunt in response.

"Er, it's really nothing. It's just, you're okay, right?"

Len kicked Fukase in the shin, lightly—more like an assuring tap. "What are you even on about?"

"Well, you know. When you came back from talking to Rin you seemed kind of off."

Len sighed as if exhaling his worries, and sunk into his seat luxuriously. "Don't worry about it."

"Okay."

Kaito, though, was apparently worried. "What'd you even talk about, though? Why did you have to reserve a whole compartment? Oh, were you finally confessing your love?"

This time Len didn't withhold any power from his kick. Kaito grimaced.

"That frigging hurt!"

"You shut up."

Kaito mimicked Len's words and rolled his eyes.

Mikuo, who had been immersed in a book, took the opportunity to enter the conversation. "Really though, what was it about? I'm curious. It was about your grades, right?"

Acquiescing to the fact that his friends wouldn't drop the subject, and figuring being snappish would only make him look pathetic, Len explained. "Well, yeah. It started that way. But she's such a damn headache. She's so stuck up in her own head, it's disturbing."

Fukase hummed. "I don't know. I think she's alright."

Len gaze was like spikes. "Really, now."

Fukase was hardly deterred—calm and thoughtful as usual. "Well, I feel like I understand her… She's like my little cousin, kind of."

"Or maybe you're just delusional."

Kaito abruptly got up, breaking the chain of conversation. "I am so effing hungry. I'm gonna find some food."

* * *

After Fukase left, Rin stayed alone in the peaceful compartment until the train arrived at Hogwarts. The next time she saw her Hufflepuff friends was at the opening feast.

"Rin!" Seeu sat next to her. "Where did you go? Were you with Len the whole time?"

"No."

"Oh, then why didn't you come back?"

"He left. I stayed."

Decrypting Rin's sparse words took a moment for Seeu. "Oh, okay. So, so what did he want?"

Rin became aware of all the other Hufflepuff girls listening to their conversation while pretending to be immersed in either their food or some trivial point on the other side of the hall. She only vaguely recognized the reason why. "He wanted to discuss my academic performance."

"Yeah? What about it?"

"He wanted to know how I do so well."

Seeu put her hand on her chin, not too frustrated because she was used to Rin's shortness. "Ohh, I see. Why did he have to take you away just to say that, though?"

Rin didn't have much of an opinion of Seeu, but she sure did ask a lot of difficult questions. How could she summarize all her thoughts on this? How would she put words to it all? Heck, _should_ she even share what happened? She wasn't sure whether there would be any problem if she spread the truth of what she learned about Len; how he was privately brusque and how his charming ambition masked spite and derision. She had a feeling Len wouldn't be too happy about it. He'd bothered with making their conversation private, after all. It was surely something he'd wanted to keep between the two of them.

Len's feelings aside, there were also her own to consider. Although time had calmed her down, she hadn't completely stabled, and she still found her mind wandering to places like the train, Len, and her place in the world.

"I think you should ask him," was the safest response, she decided.

"Oh?" A small wave of concern among the girls— _what could she mean?_ , they wondered. "Alright," Seeu said, returning to her mashed potatoes, internally sighing. She found Rin tough to talk to, but Len, with his esteem, was even tougher.

* * *

If there was one thing that could lift Len's mood like no other, it was Quidditch.

He'd been playing Seeker (the best position, in his opinion) for the Slytherin team since second year. Kaito had snatched the Seeker position for Gryffindor, so the two best friends had established a healthy competition between themselves.

Len felt especially happy when on a broom because it was _his_ territory. Flying was something he'd treasured since he was a kid. Amano, that muggleborn, sucked at flying. She could never join him up in the skies.

When he was flying, he was above her, both literally and figuratively.

So when he came down to the Quidditch pitch one day, intending to fly around a bit before dinner, the sight before him was like a wand to the throat.

The bane of his existence was there, on the pitch. Except she wasn't even flying. She was just lying there, absolutely still, spread in the central circle, as if she was an abandoned snow angel in the grass.

What the fuck?

There was a slight wind that whiffed through the wooden frames of the stands, ruffling the uncut grass and Amano's hair. It was a cool fall day; just right if you wore a sweater. Len thought he saw something calm in the picture, but then he blinked and it was gone.

He was about to leave, he couldn't stand watching any longer. She was just there, lying lifelessly, unmoving in an area designated for _sports_ , as if she owned the place. It was embarrassing.

But then he realized, who was he to walk away? Or rather, who was _she_ to push him away? He was the one who actually knew how to fly! It wasn't him that was misusing the premises!

He found himself marching towards her. "Oi, Amano!"

She sat up, but didn't stand.

"What are you doing here? They didn't build this pitch for you to lie here like an idiot!" He was yelling, even though now he was standing right over her.

She looked up calmly from the dusk of his shadow. "This pitch is allowed for anyone to use, unless it's reserved for a team practice or match."

"Yeah, but you can't just lie here! This place is for flying!"

"Hm." She looked at his shoes. "You want me to leave?"

"Yes!"

She shifted, and she looked like she was going to get up, but in the end, she didn't. She just crossed her legs and continued to stare at his shoes. "I like it here, you know. The sky seems so much higher when you look at it from beneath the stands."

"Do I look like I want to listen to your crap right now?"

A furrow knotted between her brows, though she still didn't look up. "...Are you angry?"

He actually screamed—a short, frustrated cry. "What the hell do you think?!"

She finally looked at him. "You _sound_ angry."

"I'm not bloody angry."

And she was back to studying his shoes. "You want to fly, right? It doesn't matter if I'm here. You can go ahead and fly. I'll mind my own business."

"I don't want to bloody fly when you're here." The thought of him flying and her lying down below watching him was just _wrong_. There was something uncomfortable about the two of them being alone in such a wide, open space.

"I won't do anything. You won't notice me. I'll be quiet."

"I don't care! I just don't want you here! And—And stop staring at my shoes, will you? You should look at people when they're talking."

She looked up, but immediately shielded her eyes. "The sun's right behind you, Len. It's really bright."

Oh. He looked over his shoulder, and, surely enough, was caressed by the warmth of the closest star to the Earth. He sat down so she could look at him properly.

Wait, what?

"Oh," was her only soft, inaudible reaction.

He tried to brush it off like he'd meant it all along. "What?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

They were just sitting there, in the middle of the Quidditch pitch on a simple fall day. Two people, occupying a small little space at the bottom of the endless early-evening sky. What was this? What could he call this?

"Say, Len? What's the highest you've ever flown?"

"What?" _What is this nonsense_ , was his full thought.

"Is there a limit to how high you can fly with a broom?"

"Didn't they teach us in flying class?"

"Not that I remember."

He shrugged. "Most brooms are charmed so they can't go above a certain maximum height. I'm not sure how you'd measure it in metres. It's just 'cause they don't want you to fly too close to the Sun."

Rin nodded. "Oh, I get it. UV radiation."

"What?" _What is this alien language you speak?_

"You know, the Sun emits UV light. It's bad for you. It can cause cancer."

"I-Is this another Muggle thing?"

She shrugged. "You've never heard of the electromagnetic spectrum?"

"No?"

"Oh. Never mind then." She paused. "You know, you wizards are actually quite ignorant."

"What?! You little—"

"It's nothing against you in particular," she said, still irritatingly calm. "But I think you magic folk could learn a lot from Muggles."

"Really now."

"Yes."

He didn't want to listen to her anymore, so he just nodded. And thankfully, she shut up.

It really was a nice day, though. The passing clouds cast a fleeting shadow over the pitch, before the wind picked up and sent them on their way. He kind of understood now, what comfort Rin had found in the center of the Quidditch pitch on a Thursday afternoon after classes.

Their silent, not-quite-moment was interrupted by a loud, obnoxious "Ohhhhhh!" sounding from the edge of the pitch.

Kaito had appeared, dressed warmly and carrying his broom over his shoulder. Len cursed under his breath and rushed to his feet, distancing himself from Rin, but it was too late.

Kaito had reached the centre of the pitch, an impossible smirk on his face. Len wanted to punch him so badly. "I knew you guys were a thing, Len, I so _knew_ you and Amano were a thing."

"Yeah, and you don't have a thing, Kaito," was the best he could come up with.

"Oh…? Oh, good one," Kaito snickered, realizing the innuendo. Rin just looked confused.

"But anyway," Kaito said, smirk growing, "Len. What were you doing here with Amano, huh? Huuuuh?" He got up in Len's face; the minutely-blushing blond swatted him away.

"I'm gonna bloody punch you if you get any closer, you—" He swallowed the profanity. "I just came to fly. Amano was being annoying."

"Yes, Len, you were totally flying. I mean, down there—Ow, shit!"

"And now, I'm freaking leaving," Len said, kicking Kaito's limp body one last time. "Bye," he said, sarcastically, in Rin's general direction, and left.

* * *

Dance classes.

He didn't believe the teachers would actually subject their students to this sort of torture. But when Professor Megurine announced the requirement of dance classes for all fourth-years and up, well, wasn't he just ecstatic?

Haha.

He didn't need them. He already knew how to bloody waltz, thanks to his mother and her bloody etiquette classes. And it was such a waste of time. He would rather be studying (so he could beat Amano) or doing something, you know, fun-slash-worth doing.

It was all in preparation for the upcoming Yule Ball. Traditionally, the ball had been held as part of the Triwizard Tournament, but ever since Luka Megurine became headmistress, they'd been having dances and parties at her whim. She just liked the festivities, apparently.

Len sat boredly in the Great Hall as Megurine rattled off pointless instructions. He just wanted to get it over with already: dance once, prove to the nutty headmistress that he could dance better than anyone else, and then leave. To study. To beat Amano. And make her freaking _cry_. She pretended she couldn't be arsed if he beat her, but she did. He knew she did. She just wouldn't admit it, or didn't know it. When he beat her, she would realize it and cry. And man, what a brilliant sight that would be.

Dangit he was such a shitface.

Megurine finally finished, and they all got up and went to their assigned partners. Len's was—some girl in Ravenclaw, whose name he knew but had never assigned to a face. Ia Scamander? Apparently her great-great-great-great-grandfather wrote their Care of Magical Creatures textbook.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder. "Len?"

He turned around and locked eyes with a rather pretty girl. He recognized her from some of his classes, but it was only when they stood face-to-face that he realized, yeah, she might even be cuter than Miku.

"Oh, hi. You're Ia?"

"Yep." She paused. "Yep," she said again.

He raised a brow. "Cool. Well, uh, shall we dance?"

"Sure," she said brightly, clapping her hand on his shoulder. He grasped her other hand in his, placing his hand on her back and pushing her in closer. He smiled, and they went along with the music that Megurine was playing from phonograph across the hall.

"You're pretty good," Len commented—indeed, Ia's steps were knowing and confident, even though he was the leader. "You've danced before?"

"Yeah, my parents put me in classes. I love dancing. I think it's a human's most honest form of expression." Her voice was sunny but airy; it had a nice texture that matched her face and personality.

"That's an interesting thought," he said, by no means exaggerating.

"Yeah, well, kind of," she said, giggling, and Len could tell she was just being modest.

He tore his eyes away from her to make passing observations of the other pairs. Most of them were fumbling around like babies learning to walk; others were more steady, though none of them were as evenly skilled as he and Ia, it seemed.

Kaito was paired with Miku. Kaito, having known Mikuo his whole life, had been exposed to the ray of sunshine that was his sister from childhood. The two were always arguing, acting like they couldn't stand each other, but it was really because they knew each other so well. In fact, they were good friends. As Miku led Kaito along, they kept up a series of surely-entertaining deadpans on which Len wished he could eavesdrop.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted another couple, passing smoothly across the floor like a sailboat in the wind. The familiar teal hair, sans pigtails—Mikuo. And the unmistakable sunflower-blonde of Rin Amano.

His eye twitched at the sight. Oh, he felt so sorry for Mikuo. He didn't know how he could bear to touch that annoying brat, let alone dance with her.

Still, they were doing rather well. It looked like the both of them knew what they were doing. Their smooth movements looked unconscious, effortless.

Mildly disgusted, Len turned his focus back to the girl in his arms. The hues of her round eyes shifted between deep blues and purples, and there was something whimsical about the way she carried herself that he found, well, interesting.

As far as he remembered, it was his first time noticing a girl without her noticing him first.

Abruptly, the music ended. Megurine was talking—the class was over, he realized. All too soon. Ia had detached herself from him without a linger, and waved just a little as she disappeared into another knot of students. And suddenly everyone was on their way out the Great Hall, Len following the flow absentmindedly.

* * *

That evening found a group of friends hanging around the big boulder by the lake. Len, Kaito, Fukase, Mikuo, plus the uninvited party that was Miku.

"It's so effing cold," Kaito said with a grit of his teeth, pulling his coat tighter around him. "Why the fuck are we by the lake?"

"It's so nice, though!" Miku fawned, leaning out over the softly-rippling water. It was a steely grey that matched the cloudy sky above—not stormy, just cold.

"Ah, yeah, no," Kaito said. The wind blew again, and he cursed loudly.

"Hey, hey, guys, the ball is coming up~" Miku said, slapping Kaito's back without looking at him. "Who are you thinking of taking, huh? Huh?" She sent Len an exaggerated glance.

He smiled grimly. "I dunno. Not you."

"But Leeeeen," Miku whined, "I wanna go with you! I'm asking you right now. Come to the ball with meeee." She took his arm and swung it around in her enthusiasm.

"Get off me," Len chuckled, clucking her chin. "Why don't you go with Kaito or something," he added with a note of sarcasm.

Kaito grinned. "Yeah, Miku. Go with me."

"Huh? What, no, ew," Miku said, wrinkling her nose. "I'll go with—I'll go with Satoru instead!"

"Wait, me?" Fukase said, surprised. "Really? Er, I don't know…"

Kaito rolled his eyes. "Merlin, Miku, don't you have any other guys to ask?" Miku was plenty popular, after all, and would've had a nice pick from her own year if she'd looked around a bit.

"Ehhhh, but the fifth-year guys are all so boring!" she laughed.

Mikuo, throughout the whole conversation, seemed moderately bored. He was gazing out towards the water, uninterested in the love life of his sister. But then he found the energy to add, "Miku doesn't like guys."

He received a punch in the gut for that. "That's not true, you jerk. I just don't like stupid guys. Like you."

"But you went out with Len. I think that's a good indication that your taste tends to lean towards the, well, stupid."

"Hey," Len warned. Mikuo smiled warmly in his direction.

"Len's not stupid!" Miku said, faux-sniffling. "I-I love Len. Len is awesome."

"You're awesome, Miku," Len said, winking.

Fukase laughed. "You guys are so funny." Kaito was rolling his eyes again.

"Anyway, anyway," Miku continued, "if none of you want to go with _me_ , then is there anyone on your mind?"

Kaito shrugged. "I'm kind of talking with this really hot seventh-year—"

"That's so gross," Mikuo commented, and everyone else seemed to agree.

"Kaito, you should look around your own year. Seventh-years are way too old for you," Miku reprimanded.

"Says the fifth-year hanging out with the fourth-years," Kaito replied with a callous wave of the hand. Miku smiled wryly and turned to Fukase.

"What about you, Satoru? Do you like anyone?"

"My c—"

"Don't say your cousin," Mikuo cut in.

"I-I wasn't! I was saying my Care of Magical Creatures partner. Yu-Yukari Yuzuki? Erm, I kind of like her."

Len was amused. "Oh, man, really? Wow, wait till I tell Gumiya."

Fukase looked kind of sad. "I feel really bad about it, but she already rejected him so I-I figured I should just try. Even though I already know she likes you…"

Len shrugged. "Maybe she'll go with you 'cause it'd be a way to get closer to me?"

Miku frowned. "That wouldn't be very nice of her. You deserve the best, Satoru! Like… Like me."

Satoru laughed. "Thanks. Well, I'll just try Yukari, anyhow."

"Len, Len, your turn!" Miku exclaimed.

"Um…" Len thought for a moment—a moment was all it took for Ia's face to appear in his mind. "Ia Scamander."

"Wow, so quick," Mikuo observed.

"Oh, I know her!" Miku said. "She's, she's really pretty and smart! And she can be really funny when you get to know her! I see, I see!"

Kaito crossed his arms. "No, I'm pretty sure Len fancies Rin Amano."

"Rin?!" Fukase's eyes widened. "Wait, really?"

Len snorted. " _No_ , Kaito's just an arseface. I hate Amano. I want her to fall in a pit of fire."

"I dunno, it sounds like you're in love to me." Mikuo shrugged.

Miku laughed. "Guys, guys, stop it! Rin is my precious child and I'll kill you if you hurt her, Len," she added, turning dark eyes on Len. Miku and Rin were both in Hufflepuff, but Len actually wasn't aware that they spoke much. He supposed Miku was just that friendly.

"Anyway, Ia is a good choice," Miku said, nodding fervently. "I wish you luck!"

"He doesn't need luck," Fukase said with a grin. "He's Len."

"True!" Miku chirped. Len shook his head, but he was smiling.

A long moment of amicable silence lasted where they all observed the Giant Squid's shadow as it swam around the lake.

"So no one's gonna ask me, huh," Mikuo said quietly.

"Oh, who are you going to ask to the ball, Mikuo?" Miku asked sarcastically. "I would _love_ to know."

"Eh." Mikuo shrugged. "I haven't really thought about it. I'm not into these kinds of things."

* * *

"Hey, Len. You have a minute?"

The first was a Gryffindor in his year named Ruby. They'd gotten along pretty well—she was loud and opinionated and a bit rebellious, but Len found those traits appealing. They had the same sense of humour too.

"Yeah. What's up?"

She was completely confident—either because she was sure she'd win, or because she didn't put too much stock on the outcome. "Are you going to the ball?"

"Well, yeah, of course. Why?" he asked, just to mess her around.

"You should go with me if you aren't going with someone else."

He scratched his neck in thought. He didn't really like Ruby that way—or maybe he did, but it was the mild, almost-negligible kind of like. Then again, the like was still there, and what reason did he have to refuse?

Ia, obviously.

"Aaahhh, I dunno. I think I'll say no for now."

"Huh? Why?" Ruby wasn't disappointed, thankfully. She perked up as she sensed something new in Len's countenance. "Oh my gosh, did you have someone in mind then?"

He shrugged. "Something like that."

Ruby slapped him on the back, harder than the bro code allowed, and Len almost blurted 'Are you really a girl?!' but he restrained himself, because he didn't want to be hit again.

"Hey, I'm not too sure if I'm right but you almost looked shy just now. Like, just a little."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Ruby cackled. "So who is it, huh? Who's the lucky girl?"

Ruby talked a lot, and he didn't want the whole school to find out who his date was before she herself knew, so Len shook his head and said, "You'll find out on the day."

* * *

"Kagamine."

The second was a girl in Ravenclaw named Xin Hua. She was… nice. That's all Len knew about her, really.

"Hi. It's me. Do you remember me from potions? We sat together for a few weeks."

Right, potions, that's where he knew her from. "Yeah, Xin Hua, right?"

"Yep." She seemed happy that he remembered her name. "So I was wondering, are you going to the ball with anyone?"

"Actually, I was thinking of someone, yeah."

"Oh."

"Sorry about that." He smiled. "I'm sure another guy will ask you."

"I hope so." She laughed nervously. "Thanks."

* * *

"Len!"

"Len!"

"Len!"

The third was—rather, the third, fourth, and fifth were some second years who'd approached him in an indistinguishable bundle of little girl.

"Hey," Len replied, though his facial expression made it more of a 'Hey?'

It was like Len was a wave of energy that the girls fed off of, drinking excitement and emanating it back out in a weird variation of the digestive cycle.

"You say it," the girl on the left whispered to the others.

"No, no, I can't. You do it."

"I'm so nervous."

"Someone has to do it!"

"Ahh I'm going to die!"

Len tried not to laugh.

Eventually the middle one volunteered herself as the sacrifice. She focused on the ground, red-faced, and blurted, "Len, if you want, you can pick any of us and we'd like to go to the ball with you!"

Len hid a smile behind his hand. He didn't know them, but they were cute, in a little kid way. "Aw, you're so cute."

His words had the desired effect—they looked like they'd just won the lottery, but they also looked like someone just locked them in a sauna for six hours. And maybe they'd been gagged in the process, since it seemed none of them could come up with words. Len hated to rain on their parade, to be honest.

"Sorry, though. I was going to ask someone else."

"O-Oh! No problem!"

"Don't mind us, then!"

"Th-That's okay! Have a nice day!"

Len called out, "But let's hang out sometime, okay?" as they were leaving, just for fun, and the one on the right stumbled and fell over.

* * *

There weren't many invitations after that. Word had spread that Len was unfortunately not available that night, so his hopeful admirers had returned to lurking in the shadows.

Instead of girls asking him to the ball, though, were girls speculating who his date of choice was—it did get annoying. No one asked him directly (except Ruby, who kept bloody punching him), but the voices followed him everywhere.

"I can't believe Len could ever like someone other than Miku."

"They're still friends, Len and Miku. Maybe there's still something between them?!"

"Maybe it's Ia, weren't they partners in the waltz lessons?"

"No, they only spoke like once. Maybe it's Rin Amano, didn't you hear about how they sat together on the train?"

"Wait, I never heard about that! Tell me!"

You can see why Len was annoyed.

Speaking of Amano, though. Len wondered what her plans for the night were. The ball was certainly not mandatory, and Len seriously doubted anyone would ask her out, so maybe she'd just spend the night in the library? Heh, probably.

* * *

Well, time was flying, so Len supposed he should get moving.

For asking Ia to the ball, he had two options: One, ask in front of everyone and watch her confidence bolster as everyone in the surrounding area gets excited over the momentous event unfolding before their eyes. Two, ask her in private and make it a more personal moment.

He decided on the second option; it just felt more right.

He found her incidentally as she was taking a solitary stroll through the grounds. It was wonderfully convenient—there was no one else in sight, the stars were just starting to come out, and the wintry weather was the kind that triggered the natural human instinct for closeness. Silently, he approached her and fell into step with her. She was surprised, but then she relaxed and smiled.

"Hello, Len."

"Hey." He put his hands into his pockets. "...It's cold, huh?"

"Very. But I like walking in the cold. It reminds me I'm alive."

Her depth of thought and the abstract way she spoke and the twinkle of awe in her eyes were what Len found most interesting about her. Her demeanour was vaguely familiar—he felt like he'd met someone like her, before, maybe in a dream. It was somehow comforting.

"You're really interesting, you know," he said.

"Hm?" She looked at him, and Len smiled reassuringly. "You think so?"

"Yeah. I-I know we haven't spoken much, but I feel like I can have substantial conversation with you. Or something like that."

"Hm. What makes you think that?"

"I dunno. You just, you don't waste words."

"I think I get what you mean," she said, with a laugh like wind chimes in spring. "Sometimes people tell me I'm weird. That's what you're saying, isn't it?"

"Whoa, whoa, no way! I really mean it. I really like you."

He said it casually, and she took it in casually. "Thank you. That makes me happy."

He pushed her shoulder. "You make me happy."

"Eh? Oh, that's…" She laughed again.

He waited a couple of beats, then went for it. "Hey, Ia. Want to go to the ball with me?"

She nodded slowly—Len's heart started, but then he realized it was a nod of realization rather than confirmation.

"Hm… I'm sorry. I think you're interesting, too, but…"

Len tried to ignore the quiet sinking feeling. "What?"

"You don't have what I'm looking for. ...I think that's what I'm feeling."

Len was at a bit of a loss for words. "That's… fine? Uh, yeah. I get it. Yeah, no problem."

"You're not a problem, either," Ia said with a genuine smile as she turned and went in the other direction. She disappeared with the same abruptness and alacrity as his spirit.

Well, that was... A new experience. Len, who had never known the slamming of rejection, felt it with stunning clarity. He'd just been rejected. He'd just been _rejected_. _He'd_ just been rejected.

It was strange that he didn't feel angry. Not even confused. He understood completely what position he was in. And he kind of accepted it. Although it still hurt. More than he'd like to admit. There was a neutron star of regret in his stomach—he should've known that would happen. He shouldn't have been so reckless.

In truth, it never occurred to Len to even _think_ about whether Ia liked him in that way. He'd just operated based on the assumption that she would accept. It was so stupid of him. Yes, a lot of people liked him, but Ia was definitely different from other girls. It wasn't a given that she would like him after one conversation. If you could call it a conversation. It was no more than a scant exchange of pleasantries. She wasn't that simple. What had first attracted him to her, her idiosyncrasies and unconventionality, ended up being what hurt him.

Wait, no, he wasn't hurt.

In the end, it was her loss. Her fault for not seeing what she had. Could've had. Yes. Len gave her a chance, and she'd squandered it, so who was he to feel down? _She_ was the one who should be feeling down!

Still though, Len wasn't the best at cheering himself up.

"Oh, maaaaaan."

Somehow, he sunk even further.

Kaito was strolling down the hill, eyeing Len like a marginally interested cat. "Oh, man."

"What?" Len didn't look him in the eye.

"I saw that. I heard it. Oh, man."

"What are you on about?"

"You know. I just happened to catch your voice as I was passing by, so naturally, since you're the oh-so-wonderful Len Kagamine, I thought I would investigate what my idol was up to."

"Oh, I'm your idol, am I?"

"Don't change the subject, Lenny-Len." Kaito smirked, and Len, for a moment, could not remember exactly why they were friends. "You just got _rejected_."

"I'm aware of that," he said, quietly accepting it as he said it.

Kaito laughed loudly, and the ugly sound echoed over the hills. " _Too_ aware, eh?"

Len made to walk away. "If you're done being a git, then please excuse me."

Suddenly a hand was on his shoulder. "No, stay with me a second."

Len's fist twitched with a dozen suppressed punches.

"So, if you're not going with Ia, are you gonna take Miku up on her offer now?"

"No?"

"Are you just not gonna go then?"

"I dunno, why do you care?"

"I don't, really." Kaito released his shoulder. "I don't."

"Whatever."

Len really was about to leave, but then Kaito opened his big mouth again.

"I can't wait to tell everyone about this, oh man."

The air stilled.

"Why the fuck would you do that?" Len's voice was a low growl, sunk in the wind.

"What, why would I tell everyone?" Kaito feigned thinking about it. "Because, because it's funny?"

Before either of them could realize, Len's wand was poised just under Kaito's nose, and there was a tangible rush in the air.

"Oi, what the hell?" Kaito muttered.

"You are such a bloody fucking git."

"Well, nothing you can do about it, eh?" He had the gall to laugh, another laugh that spread sharply across the grounds.

Len inched his wand closer. "I'll fucking curse you."

"You'll fucking get detention."

Kaito knew Len wouldn't accept the tarnish on his reputation that would come with a detention. He grinned knowingly as Len lowered his wand slightly.

"It's okay," Kaito comforted. "Everyone gets rejected. 'S normal. No one will care. I mean, they'll laugh a bit, but who cares?"

 _Len_ would care. He couldn't have everyone knowing about this—now that he couldn't go with Ia, he had to find some other girl and pretend that _she_ was who he had in mind all along. That was his plan. But if Kaito were to blab… Len thought of all girls he'd rejected, and all the ones who he would've rejected had they gathered the courage to ask in the first place. If they were to find out that _he'd_ been rejected, himself… What would they think? Their image of him would be shattered. Plus, he would have to deal with all the girls who thought they had a chance now. And, and Ia wasn't even that popular, so if word got out that she _,_ the kinda-weird-and-up-there girl from Ravenclaw, was the one who'd shattered his heart… Not like she had.

Was this panic? It was probably just anger. "Why are you being such an arsehole?"

"Why is your head so far up your arse?" Kaito countered, smiling widely as ever. "Seriously, Len. The world doesn't revolve around you."

Len didn't say anything, although there were a lot of things he would have liked to have said. Possible words swirled around his head, mixing and mingling until he just didn't know anymore.

Kaito, sensing a decline in the atmosphere, rolled his eyes. "Okay, tell you what. I'll throw you a deal." His grin crept back up, slowly, and Len sensed impending doom. "I'll keep quiet about lil' Ia. But in return, you'll have to do something."

"The fuck do you want."

"Well, it's a small thing, really. Actually, I'm sure you'd be happy to do it."

"What is it?!"

Kaito leaned in close and murmured a few choice shameless words. Len recoiled.

"No. No fucking way. I—you—I would _never_ agree to that, you piece of shit."

"At least I'm giving you a choice," Kaito said, shrugging, confident that no matter what Len chose, he'd won.

* * *

a/n: I'm kinda running a fever right now, actually I've been freaking sick all week but I promised myself I would update on Thursdays

technically it's not thursday here anymore but

hey it's good to have chapters stocked up for times like these!

well what do you think? what do you think kaito said? it's pretty obvious if you think about it, but I'm leaving it a mystery right now for suspense and I also want you to guess! a ball huh... what do you think is gonna happen? It's a big event, at any rate. I'm excited.

now I hate lenku quite a lot. as a ship, it just aggravates me. In my mind Miku and Len are just _best friends_. but you gotta admit, they're cute as amicable exes. you gotta admit.

the chapters are getting longer omg this is like 6k words I hope you like it

also, len and kaito made the rating go up lolol, it's T now. swearing because they're teenagers. haha kaito's perhaps an even bigger arseface than len psshht

reviewer who likes jealous!Len: omg same! lol I dunno if Fukase's gonna be involved in it but if it's jealous len you want, I will most likely deliver. :D

and and I tried on the british-isms this chapter can you tell? lol it's probably awkward-sounding to a native british person so hey, if any of you are british and interested, wanna be my british-ism proofreader or something? lol

oh and I got a 6/14 on my chemistry quiz so console my soul if you please


	6. Architecture

It was a sunny Saturday. Five-year-old Len was walking, one hand enclosed in his father's, the other in his mother's. They were going to visit their family friends today: the Hatsunes.

Len really liked going to play with Mikuo. He was a bit of a quiet boy, but he was really good at all sorts of games, especially gobstones. His sister was loud and obnoxious, but they let her join them while the adults talked and ate and did their boring adult things.

"Len Len Len Len Len Len Len Len!" Miku was the one who opened the door, and as soon as she saw Len she dragged him inside and up the stairs. His parents let him go, laughing to themselves.

"Miku Miku Miku Miku Miku," Len replied bemusedly.

"I'm so excited for today," Miku said as she rushed him along the wide, long halls—the Hatsunes had a big house, though not as big as Len's. "'Cause you're here, and Kaito's here, and we're all gonna play together!"

"Kaito?"

Miku let go of him, surprised. "Oh, have you never met Kaito? He lives next door! He comes here all the time."

"Oh. What's he look like?"

"He has blue hair, but it's not like my blue, it's like dark blue, and he's really tall even though he's younger than me…"

Just as Miku was describing him, they reached Mikuo's room, and Len met eyes with a tall boy with a mischievous grin on his face, tipping his chair back like it didn't belong to his neighbours. Mikuo was sitting on the bed, waved as Len walked in.

"Hi, Len."

"Is this Len?" Kaito asked, raising a brow. "He doesn't look as cool as you guys told me."

"What'd you say?" Len frowned slightly.

"Kaito!" Miku puffed up her cheeks and pushed his chair down. "Be nice to Len! He's a guest."

"I'm a guest too," Kaito said.

"But you're here so often you might as well live here," Mikuo pointed out. Kaito shot him a look.

"I do not!" Then he turned back to Len, curious about the new addition to the room. "Len, huh? ...I'm Kaito Shion."

"Nice to meet you…" Len said, put off by Kaito's attitude and what he'd said earlier.

"Len, don't mind Kaito," Miku said, sensing Len's apprehensiveness. "He's just jealous he's not as cool as you."

"I am cool," Kaito snapped. "I'm the coolest in the world."

Len glowered. "That's no fair. I-I'm the coolest."

"What makes you think you're so cool, huh? You don't look cool to me at all."

"I'm cool! Miku says I'm cool, right Miku?"

"Len's cool!" Miku agreed. "Kaito's cool too, but I think Len is cooler."

Kaito stomped his feet. "Fine, take his side! But Mikuo, you—"

"I don't think either of you are cool."

Len and Kaito joined in glaring at Mikuo.

"How about we just say that I'm the coolest?" Miku suggested, glossing everything over. "Now, now, can we start playing? Now that there's four people we can finally play a proper game of House—"

"Um, House?" Len asked, not knowing what House was.

"Yeah, it's when we pretend that we're a family and we do chores and pay bills and stuff!"

Mikuo groaned, already having played this game before, thus knowing how wonderfully droll it was.

"I'm the mommy! Since I'm the only girl," Miku announced. "Len is the daddy. Mikuo is the son. And Kaito is the dog!"

"Why am I the dog?!" Kaito protested.

"I don't know, you just look like a dog," Miku said, shrugging.

* * *

The mother was out taking the son to primary school. And so the father was home alone with the dog. Len didn't quite know what to say—how do you start a conversation with a dog?

"I still think I'm the coolest," Kaito said out of the blue.

"You're a dog. You're supposed to say _woof_ ," Len said flatly, getting a bit too into the game (Miku would be proud, though).

"I didn't want to be a bloody dog," Kaito said, glaring at the floor. "Why did Miku have to make me the dog…"

"Well what did you want to be, then?" Len asked. "The daughter?"

"What? No!" Kaito said, sticking his tongue out. "Ew!"

Len thought for a moment. "Maybe you could've been the second son."

Kaito nodded slowly. "Yeah…! Why didn't Miku just let me be another son?!"

"Maybe it's just how the game works?" Len suggested. "There can only be one son."

"It's a stupid game, then," Kaito spat. "I hate being a dog. All I do is sit around and beg for food."

"Well, excuse me," Len said with a slight edge. "I think that's a pretty good life. Would you rather come here and pay the bills?" Len gestured at the parchments in front of him—they were covered in numbers and strange words that Len could not make sense of. (Where did Miku even find these documents, anyway?)

Kaito came and took a look over Len's shoulder. "It looks hard, but it's better than being a dog."

"...Too bad for you, I guess."

"Can't we trade?" Kaito complained. "You be the dog. You're shorter than me, after all!"

"Hey!" Len was sensitive about his height, being the shortest out of all his friends. "I'm taller than you when you're on all fours."

Kaito was only just able to tell he'd just been cleverly insulted. "You like being the daddy, then?"

"...Not really. But it's better than being the dog. The dog is the least powerful member of the family."

"I bet you like it 'cause you want to be married to Miku," Kaito said sourly.

Len blinked. He only realized the implications of being the 'daddy' when Kaito pointed them out: he was the daddy, Miku was the mommy, and they had a son, which meant— "Aaagh!"

"Well, have fun," Kaito said.

"No, no wait!" Len said, holding up a hand. "Do you still want to be the daddy? We can trade. Let's trade."

Kaito remained blank for a moment, but then he slowly started to smile. "Psyche! No takebacks!"

"I don't want a takeback," Len said with a satisfied laugh. "Hehehe, now _you're_ married to Miku."

"Better than being a dog," Kaito said with a grin.

And they both realized that they were happier this way, with Kaito being the daddy and Len being the doggy. Len was freed of the responsibility of the bills, and Kaito didn't have to crawl around on the floor anymore.

That's how their relationship was like, from then on—despite being the same age, Kaito was like the older brother Len never had.

* * *

chapter 6

architecture

* * *

Rin was in the library, doing some extra work to reinforce her understanding of the Transfiguration concepts they'd need for exams. It was easy work—the mindless easy kind. Although Rin prided herself on her exceptional ability to focus, today her mind was disinterested with such lack of interest, and so it began to wander, losing itself like a child in a mall.

The Yule Ball, huh...

Rin had never been to a ball, herself. She recalled family parties and weddings from when she was younger—that's how she knew how to ballroom dance—but this was much different. The place wouldn't be chock full of old people. They were kids her age.

Her only experience with this sort of event was from books and movies, not counting what her older brother had told her about his own school formal: "It's really nothing. Mostly hanging around watching your classmates act like complete tossers, and then they go and get themselves more drunk at the afterparties."

It was after an amount of deliberation that Rin decided attending such an event would not be useful to her in any way. She wasn't going. There were so many other ways she could spend her Christmas Eve—studying, for example. Or leisure reading. She also really wanted to write to her family. It had been so long since she'd spoken with them, she couldn't help but worry about how they were getting along without her.

She loved visiting the owls up in the owlery, as well—she couldn't do so often because there always seemed to be other students there, but she could certainly go while everyone was downstairs enjoying the ball. The Quidditch pitch, maybe, since she'd never been there at night. If she was feeling adventurous, maybe she would sneak up the Astronomy tower. There were so many places in the castle she loved exploring. The single best thing about Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was the castle itself, so full of mystery and places to be.

Yes. When she thought about it, going to the ball would be such a waste of precious time. Her time at Hogwarts was almost halfway over, she realized with a pang, so she should really start thinking about how to wring it for all its worth.

But, Rin thought, catching sight once more of the books before her, before she could even think about enjoying herself, she had to do well academically. Rin felt like she was the only one who was actually bothering to study for the end-of-term exams that week—most of her classmates seemed so preoccupied with the ball, it was like they'd forgotten.

She wondered briefly whether Len had gotten caught up in all the ball stuff too, or if he was working hard as ever. He was probably balancing the two, she decided. He had a talent for balancing many different things.

And, as if the thought of him summoned his presence, he appeared from around the nearest row of bookshelves.

* * *

"Go to the ball with Amano."

That's what Kaito had whispered in his ear, that night. It was so disgusting, Len could still feel Kaito's breath evaporating the cold from his ears and Kaito was such a loser what the hell was he even thinking, and why did he have to lean so close they were both guys it was gross, but more importantly, he was NOT going anywhere with Amano.

Len honestly didn't know what motivated Kaito to push this on him. He knew why the ultimatum involved Amano specifically—Len hated her, so going with her and pretending to like her for a night would be tortuous punishment of the greatest degree.

But why was Kaito so eager to mess with him? Throughout their ten years of friendship, they'd always dicked around with each other, it was normal, but this was different. Malicious. It felt like something happened. Did Len do something to offend him? Whatever it was, it honestly wasn't intentional. Kaito was like his brother, and Len knew his boundaries, and would never purposefully hurt him. It was just so, so strange.

And, come on. They were _guys_. They shouldn't have had to deal with this kind of friendship drama rubbish. Only girls had the emotional capacity for that. (Joking, he was joking.)

Maybe it was hormones. Did… Did Kaito finally reach puberty?!

In any case, Len was pissed, and he just didn't want to think about Kaito anymore.

...But, unfortunately, he had to. Despite his tiredness and overall stress, he had to turn his brain on, he had to come up with a _plan_ , because he couldn't let Kaito win. As loath as he was to compete, this was a challenge, a challenge he had to win—he would not stand for being pushed around like this. There was no way he would accept loss; he had to beat the system.

Spells. Potions. Len racked the encyclopedias of his mind. A spell to forbid someone from speaking about certain subjects? He could use that to zip Kaito's mouth. Maybe a simple memory charm… But that was illegal…

He was in the library now, searching for texts related to memory, speech and any other tangentially helpful subjects. He had just over a week to do research—plus he had to study for end-of-term exams, plus he had to find an actual date for the blooming ball. Damn it all, he'd probably end up going with Miku. Well, she was better than nothing, and certainly better than Rin—and now that he thought about it, better than that damn Ia. He wouldn't be in any of this mess if it weren't for her.

Then he thought, no, he just didn't want to go to the ball at all. Everyone in the damn school was so stupid, why would he want to spend the evening socializing with those cretins, why couldn't he just stay in his room and never come out.

He knew it was just a passing mood, but still. He was bloody annoyed.

He chose a bunch of random books and shoved them in his bag, feeling them crushing whatever other shit he kept in there, not caring. He began towards the exit of the library, but as he emerged from the forest of bookshelves, he noticed something that made him want to wring someone's neck.

Rin. She looked like she was studying for exams. Ugh, she'd gotten a head start over him—he'd yet to even read over his notes. And they started testing in four days.

Just looking at her, sitting quietly and working hard, made him want to go over there and grab her book, whack her over the head with it and run off with it so she couldn't study anymore and fail. That would be such a stress reliever. However, he thought, clearing his mind, he was a decent person, so he made to leave before he either succumbed to temptation or died of disgust.

But then she looked up, and their eyes met.

'Oh, it's you,' she seemed to say. That's about all he saw in her eyes. _How empty she is_ , he thought.

He glared back, trying to communicate without words just how much of a _tas de merde_ she was, but then she looked away, and the connection dropped. He didn't need to waste anymore time, so he marched onwards to leave. But. As he was passing by her table (he had to pass by in order to reach the exit, curse everything) she held up a verbal hand.

"Len?"

Why the fuck was she talking to him. Did she not see the proverbial banner above his head that blared _DO NOT FUCKING TALK TO ME BECAUSE I'M IN A HORRIBLE MOOD_?

"Piss off, _tas de merde_."

The look on her face betrayed the smallest amount of alarm—good. "You know French?"

"Just enough to insult you. Now leave me alone."

She gave him a searching look. "I... was just wondering something. I suppose if you want, you can leave. It's not really important."

'Good!' he was about to say. 'Great, then shut up and never talk to me again!' That's what his mind told him to say, what his whole fatigued body told him to say… except for a certain muscle between his lungs. That part of him recognized the curiosity of Amano's behaviour—she'd never had anything to say to him. So what could she possibly want now? Whatever it was, it was Amano asking it, so it was surely not a trivial thing—Amano didn't do trivial.

"I'm giving you one minute."

"One minute?"

"One minute of my precious time for you to waste, so you better be grateful. It's like forty-five seconds, now."

"Right. Then," she paused, glanced at him, looked away again, "how is your studying going?"

Puzzlement mixed in with Len's irritation. "Can you get to the point?"

"But that is my point."

"What are you talking about? Hurry up, you have less than thirty seconds."

"What I'm asking is how your studying is going."

He was incredulous—he'd truly thought that Amano didn't do trivial. 'How is your studying going'—what a trivial question! Unless she was asking in order to weigh her competition for the upcoming exams—competition that was nonexistent, considering how little he'd studied so far. So she was either trying to make small talk or suss out his weakness? Damn it to hell. "Why do you care?"

"I just wanted to know."

"Trying to weigh your competition?"

"No. Not at all. I just wanted to know how you were getting along." At his unfathomable glare, she fumbled on. "Since, since there's a lot going on right now. There are exams, and there's the ball as well, and I thought it might be difficult to balance it all."

Len suddenly felt intruded on—it was like she could tell he was stressed, she was zoning in on his exact problems. Was she reading him? No, of course not. Why would she care enough about him to read him? Amano only cared about herself, he was pretty sure. "I'm getting along just fine, thank you very much."

"That's good," not looking like she thought it was particularly good. She paused, as if wondering why she was still talking, or whether it was okay to keep talking, and in the end, to Len's grief, she'd decided on the affirmative. "I find a lot of our classmates are preoccupied with the ball. I think they should focus on studying. Exams come first."

"And you care because?"

"It was just an observation."

"No one wants you bloody observing them. Let them do what they want."

"I suppose. But exams are important."

He was getting annoyed—well, more annoyed than he already was. "Not everyone thinks the same as you, Amano. Some people think having a _social life_ ," (cough cough something you don't have), "is more important than passing exams."

She appeared to think long and hard, turning Len's words over in her mind as if they'd ignited a train of thought. But then she shook her head. "Some people value money very much, and find it more important than even love. But they're quite wrong. So in the same way, I think everyone should care more about exams."

Len couldn't help but be reminded of his whole genie spiel on the train. Was what Rin just said a covert insult, or something? An underhand reference to how he'd used money to bribe her? That was over three months ago, but Len still felt the dull scars of indignation and unacknowledged embarrassment. The irritation kept piling up. "I told you, everyone's different. So what if some people value money more than love, or whatever? It's their life. Keep your nose out of it."

"But they're not _my_ values. They're universal values that comprise a good person."

"You're not very smart, and you're also wrong."

"I'm not wrong."

This steadfastness was classic Amano. It made him want to snap at her, or more accurately, snap her in half. "What, do you think you're always right, then?"

"Of course not. But I am right concerning this topic."

"'Kay, but you can't do anything about it. Do you like, want to go and curse everyone into thinking the same as you?"

"No. I don't want to change them. I just think they should change."

"That's bloody great for you. ...Hey, your minute was up five minutes ago! If you'll excuse me then—"

"How about you?"

"What?"

"Are you focusing more on exams right now? Or the ball?"

Why did she care, honestly! It was like she wanted him to pour his soul out to her or something. Was she his psychiatrist? Nooooo. "Do you think I want to talk to you? Your minute's up, I told you."

She bit her lip in an unexpected show of self-doubt. "...Sorry. I guess you are busy."

He trampled over anything delicate in the air, eyes narrowing. "Why are you talking to me, anyway? I'm not sure if you already knew this, but you know, Amano? I really don't like you."

If he'd said those words with the same amount of conviction to anyone else, they might have responded with shock and offense. But it was as if Rin didn't understand what he'd meant—she thought on his words too long, trying to make sense out of them, as if he'd been speaking in pig Latin.

"Don't tell me you didn't know that," he said.

Rin shook her head, frowning slightly. "I-I never put much thought to it, is all. Whether you liked me or not."

She really was a special one, huh? "Well now you know."

"I guess."

She was concentrating too much for a conversation about likes and dislikes and unimportant feelings. She looked like she was analyzing deep philosophy or doing mental math. What was there to possibly think about, though? It was just that he didn't like her, plain and simple. "You're not like, upset about it, are you?" he snorted.

"Well…" She placed a hand on her chin. "Maybe I'm a little disappointed. I think everyone wants to be liked."

Something about her answer and the pensive look about her lifted his mood, just a little. "Sure."

Silence crept in between them and made itself comfortable. Len could hear the notes of the Hogwarts Orchestra's rehearsal, distant and dimly echoing in the spaciousness of the castle—they were practicing Christmas songs.

"I know this song," Rin said quietly. "I've heard it before…"

"Hm?"

"It's, it's… You know, those tunes you always hear as a child but never grow up to learn the names of? You hear them on television, and things like that..."

Len raised a brow (what was a television?), but listened closer to the melody. After a moment, he murmured, "Canon in D, right? Pachelbel's Canon in D."

"Is that what it's called?"

"It's a Christmas classic," Len said, shrugging. "It's also used in weddings to a cliché. That's where I first heard it, I think."

"Weddings…" Rin repeated. "Christmas and weddings…"

"It's a simple piece of music, but a lot of people love it. It's a classic classical piece."

"Mhmm."

"Canon, it's actually a composition technique. It's when you have an initial melody, and then later, another voice comes in and plays an imitation of that melody. It's like building blocks, almost. And then the piece ends up having all these different layers that are kind of the same, but different in a harmonic way."

Rin looked at him, was that interestedly? "You seem to know a lot about it."

"Huh?" Len hadn't even realized he'd just been spouting words on music theory—he was talking without thinking. He knew a bit about it, and maybe a part of him subconsciously figured that Rin would appreciate the knowledge. "Ah, I-I dunno. I just, I've played this piece before. On, on violin."

"You play violin?"

"Just a little. It's like a side-hobby, I'm not really into it."

"Oh, I see." Rin looked like there was something else she wanted to say—Len intuitively guessed what it might have been…

"No, you're not going to hear me play."

"Why?"

"Because I don't like you."

"Oh."

Len stared up towards the library's high ceiling. The tiny windows, so far up above, angled orange light down the pillars, past intricately carved arches and crevices of age, past where the stone walls intersected with the wooden ones, right up to where he was standing. The architecture really was artful, he observed, it really was.

His voice escaped his throat like a captive breaking free, "I'm tired," and he didn't even notice the loss until Rin responded with, "Is that so?"

"Ah, er, I'm just—" When he was particularly tired, it seemed his mouth filter also weakened. He cursed. "No, I think you're hearing things."

"Hm. No, I think I understand," Rin said. "This is a stressful time of year."

"I'm not stressed!"

"It's just that, me myself, I've chosen to only care about exams. It makes things a lot easier for me. But for someone like you, who likes to be involved with several different things at once, I thought you might be having trouble keeping up."

"Wh-What makes you assume that about me?" Creepy, it was creepy.

"I just thought."

"Thinking of me, were you?"

"I was, actually. Just now, before you appeared. It was a great coincidence you came just as I was thinking of you."

What was he supposed to say to that?! "That's weird."

"I was thinking maybe it was magic. Magic can make coincidences like this happen."

He sighed. "Well we are in a magic school, so maybe."

Her smile, for once, again. "Maybe."

"...Maybe."

He stood there, figuring it was about time he got moving—how her one minute became ten, he simply could not explain.

"Good luck, then," she said suddenly.

"What?"

"With whatever you're dealing with that's making you tired."

He just gaped.

"Since you're normally a very capable person, it must be something big that's weighing you down, no? I just, I think it might be more than exams or the ball. I'm not going to ask you about it, though."

"Why not?"

"It's not my business."

"You're right, it isn't."

Rin tapped her fingers on the table's surface. "Nevertheless, good luck."

It was Rin, so he knew it wasn't a pleasantry. She was so weird. But, but… He was put at a small, small amount of ease. "I don't need luck."

"Everyone needs luck."

Luck…

Luck.

That was it.

He found it.

The reason why she always won, why he could never beat her… It was luck. Just plain luck.

Lucky, Rin Amano. All you are is lucky.

Not knowing what he was doing—if he did, he'd have put an end to the nonsense before it could manifest itself—and a ghost of a smile lurking his face, he pulled out the chair in front of her, and cast a Muffliato charm around the table. So no one could hear. "You know what? Maybe you can help me."

"Help?"

"I'll tell you about this, uh, problem of mine."

"Huh? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

But he wanted to; if there was anyone who could help him find a way to beat Kaito, it was Rin. She probably knew more spells and potions than their whole year combined. "Well do you want to know or not?"

"I want to know."

"Okay, then I'll tell you. It's not a big deal, really." He saw no problem in—not confiding in, but _discussing with_ Rin; Rin didn't talk to anyone, and Len was pretty darn certain that Rin did not participate in any sort of gossip. The shit Kaito put him through—it was something he wouldn't want to tell his friends—not Fukase or Mikuo or Miku—but Rin wasn't his friend, and he just had a feeling that even if what he said might've embarrassed him in front of another person, Rin was different from other people. She was too socially inept to understand the popular definition of 'embarrassing', so in that way, she was safe to talk to.

"If it's not a big deal, why did you cast a Muffliato charm?"

"Shut up. Okay, so what happened is this. Kaito is an arsehole, and erm, let's just say he caught me doing something, and he wants to tell all his friends and their grandmothers about it. And I don't want him to tell anyone."

"What did you do?"

"I'm not telling you." Rin frowned; Len rolled his eyes. He knew he was being extremely unclear, but. "It's not important. Anyway, Kaito the Butthead gave me this ultimatum: either he blabs about this thing I did, or I do something else that I'd really rather not do."

"Okay…"

"That's it. You see my dilemma?"

"...No."

"It's not difficult to understand. All I need is your help finding something that'll keep Kaito from blabbing about what I did."

"What would help you?"

"I dunno, that's what I'm asking. Is there like, a speech charm?"

Rin frowned. "We don't learn speech charms until sixth year. Also, using one on your friend would be extremely unethical."

"Ugh, you don't even know what he said, though! Trust me, if you knew how much of a prat he is, you'd agree to let me use them, okay?"

"I don't know what he said because you won't tell me what he said."

"You don't need to know what he said."

Rin exhaled quickly—was that irritation? "You can't expect me to help if you don't tell me anything."

Looking closely, Len could see, yep, that was definitely a knot between her brows. She was subtle about it, but she was annoyed. What audacity she had, to be annoyed by him. Still, it was strangely gratifying that he could get to her. He couldn't help the smirk. "Huh, what the hell—are you mad, Amano?"

"I would... not like to waste my time much longer."

He was about to say the same thing—what was he doing, wasting his time talking to her?—but then he realized something rather interesting. Annoying her was _fun_ , when he was able to do it. Like a messed-up sort of game, almost. "You're mad, aren't you?"

"I'm not mad."

"You sound mad."

"But I'm not."

"You're not convincing me right now."

Rin gave him a flat look. "If you are going to pursue the topic of my mood, I'd rather you leave instead."

"But this is a public place, Amano, you can't kick me out."

"The librarian always evicts disturbances. You're being a disturbance, Len."

"Huh? No, I'm not. I'm not disturbing anyone."

"You're disturbing me."

"No I'm not. In fact, you _like_ when you get to talk to me, don't you, Amano?" Why he was pushing her so much, he had no idea—but hey, it made him forget about everything he'd like to forget.

"I'm not sure about that."

"You probably dream about getting to talk to me more often."

"I don't."

"Hm, maybe you're in denial. Everyone likes talking to me, you know."

"That sounds like a bluff."

It was, truthfully. It was facetious, the way he said it, even if he liked to believe it. "No, not really."

Her attention was turned to her book once more. Len sucked on the inside of his cheek. Fun's over, huh? "Fine, fine. I'll tell you."

"Hurry up, then," she said, not looking up.

Len glared at her, but spoke. "So basically, it was like this. I made a horrible mistake. Amano, have you ever made a mistake that you regretted so much that if anyone were to find out about it, you'd stick yourself in the oven with your Thanksgiving dinner?"

"Um… Not to that caliber, but I have made mistakes, yes."

"Good. Good." Amano making mistakes… He wondered what they could've possibly been. "Right, so this mistake of mine. I still don't want to tell you what it is exactly, sorry, but you understand where I'm coming from, right? I don't have to get too specific."

"It's fine."

"Great. So yeah, since I have dignity, I'd rather not have people know about this mistake I made. But Kaito thinks it would be funny to tell everyone. Because, because he knows how much it would piss me off, you know? But he gave me a deal. He said he won't tell anyone as long as I..." He trailed off.

"You...?"

"Well you see, it's kind of awkward. I don't really want to tell you. But, but I guess it doesn't matter."

"You can tell me." Was she encouraging him? That's what it sounded like. He placed his chin in his palm, staring at the roof and all the nice architecture again.

"It's as long as I go to the ball with, well, you."

There was as much surprise in her expression as if he'd just told her that Christmas was in December. "Me?"

Really, she could've at least acted like she cared. Did she have to be so bleeding mild about everything? "Yes, you."

A couple of moments passed where Rin didn't say anything. She'd looked up from her book and was staring at him now, curious as if she'd observed something quietly strange.

"...Are you okay?"

"The hell are you talking about?" he snapped. Though, he _did_ know what she was talking about. Dammit he was blushing, wasn't he? He really wasn't good with these kinds of things, especially things like having to declare to his hated rival that the thought of going to a Yule Ball with her had actually crossed his mind, no matter the reason why. He didn't want to even _think_ of going to the ball with Rin, because it was so ridiculous and made him feel disgusting like he'd been bathed in steaming green bubotuber pus.

"Never mind," Rin said.

"Whatever."

"So. This ultimatum. What reason would Kaito have to propose these specific conditions?" Rin asked, getting back on topic.

She was, in layman's terms, asking 'why did Kaito want you to go with _me_?' and the true answer to that would be, 'because I don't like you, and Kaito wants to torture me, and I really don't like you, and I really don't know what's wrong with Kaito but it makes me so angry that he won't just tell me what his beef is instead of acting so cryptic about whatever's bugging him—not that I want to talk about his feelings and similar bullshit, but everyone knows that talking it out is always the best way to go'. But that was too long and complex, so Len settled for, "'Cause he's a git?"

"Is that so?" she said, accepting his answer even if inside, she felt there was a bit more to it.

He laughed. "It's freaking so."

"Oh. So, you either take me to the ball or Kaito lets your secret out."

"Basically."

"Though," Rin said, "I don't want to go to the ball."

There may have been a part of him that would've been okay with asking Amano to the ball as a last resort—a last resort!—if he couldn't come up with anything else and was trapped with a corner—he'd realized that just as he'd informed her of the whole deal—but that was out the window now. "I'm not asking you to the damn ball!" he snapped. "The whole reason I'm in this shit is because I _don't_ want to go to the ball with you, okay? So please don't imagine yourself going with me, because that's gross."

"I imagined it," she said, as if to spite him, except he knew it wasn't to spite him because she was Rin, and Rin was too bloody honest.

"I fucking told you not to imagine it."

"I don't think I liked imagining it," Rin said, shrugging.

"That's bloody good for you."

"I would rather study on Christmas Eve. Or write to my parents."

Blimey. Studying on Christmas Eve? She was extreme. Extremely sorry. "Yeah, er, you shouldn't study on Christmas Eve. Just, yeah, write to your parents."

"Okay."

"Right." Where were they? "Aaaanyway, yeah, Kaito said that stupid thing. So now, since I don't want to go to the ball with you, and I need to maintain my self-respect, I want to find a way to get Kaito to keep quiet about that thing I did. Like, a spell or potion. That's where you come in."

"I see."

"I want you to help me out. You know a lot of magic. Surely you know something that could help?"

Rin frowned. "I don't think there's anything off the top of my head. What you're asking for is really complex."

"It can't be that hard. There's gotta be a solution somewhere in that brain of yours, Amano, come on, think."

"I really don't know. I would have to do some research."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. There really isn't anything I can think of."

Len ground his teeth. "Well, would you be willing? To do research for me."

Rin seemingly calculated her week's schedule in her head. Eventually she said, "I would like to help, but I prioritize studying for exams."

He tried not to roll his eyes. "I see."

"I'm sorry."

"N-No, it's fine," Len said, standing up. He felt a bit strange having shared so much with Rin (though thinking on it later, he realized that he'd hardly shared much at all), especially now that he knew it'd all been for nothing. "Keep studying then. I'll get going."

Rin nodded. "Thanks."

"You're welcome…"

He'd taken two steps when again, and for the last time that day, Rin stopped him.

"I'm not sure if this is relevant, but I find that in order to solve interpersonal problems, talking it out is always the best way to go."

He'd called her amazing, back then on the train, uselessly trying to flatter her or butter her up, or whatever. He didn't really believe it back then, but maybe, just maybe, now, he did.

He'd squashed the thought by the time he'd exited the library.

* * *

a/n: i made it i made it yess every thursday people every thursday! (for most of you, friday I guess)

this chapter was weird to write, it didn't come out nearly as easily/naturally as the others! I rewrote it like 3 times. XD

canon in d is one of my favourite pieces of music ever, so of course I had to put it in. also, boys who play violin amirite ;) Rin, I'll just tell you now lol, my canon for Rin is that she plays piano, so it's like a genderbent Your Lie in April lol. Side note, there's something really wonderful/romantic about a violin/piano duet? the piano player being the grounded, jaded type and the violin player being more of a dreamer... I'm just rambling about abstract things orz

do you think len's change of mood was unnatural? I struggle to find a balance between Len's disdain and sociability; like, he's pompous but at the same time I have to make him act in a way that makes it believable that people like him. At the beginning of the chapter, he was really freaking mad, but by the end his mood improved. Did that shift feel unnatural? Tell me your thoughts!

Life update from me: school is annoying and my grades are crap and I am so dreading having to show them to my parents :(

I just treat these a/ns like my personal ranting corners lol I really shouldn't

well anyway, please **review**! I love you all and btw, if you're reading this far in, thank you so much for sticking around with me for the past month and 25k words! Let's hope I can continue to hold your interest hehe


	7. Ice

chapter 7

ice

* * *

There was nothing to it. It wasn't like he had any other choice, anyway.

He would talk to Kaito. He would find a way to settle this dilemma of theirs, once and for all… Whatever it was. If he had to lower his pride a bit, so be it. Prostrating himself for the sake of friendship? That was strength, that was bravery. Talking it out was the only way to make them both happy, he realized. Then all the conflict would be gone. Forever. And daily peace and calm would manifest itself once again in their lives.

Len sent Kaito a quick note: _Meet me at five tonight. Guess the place._ And then, head held high and bathing in his own decency, Len made his way down to the grounds—the same spot where they'd had that winter night fight—without waiting for Kaito's confirmation.

Kaito had gotten there before Len. He was waiting with his arms crossed over his chest, shivering underneath his jacket. They stood face to face like hesitant soldiers sectioned off by a trench in between them.

Len took a breath. "Hey, Kaito."

"Any reason why you had to call me out into this fucking cold?" Kaito said, his voice colder than the weather.

"I thought it would be appropriate," Len said truthfully.

"Whatever."

The silence stretched on. Len, ever the careful planner, had his usual mental script written out, yes—but the actor had a much more difficult job than the playwright.

"So what did you want?" Kaito said airily, snapping Len out of his simmering thoughts. "Have you decided on taking Amano—"

"No. No, I just wanted to talk."

"Just wanted to talk? No, you never—that's not like you. You're obviously thinking of something."

"You know me really well, huh, Kaito?"

"I wish I didn't."

The words clashed and echoed like a deep New Year's gong. Okay, that hurt. That hurt a lot. "What the hell, Kaito? What's—What's been up with you lately? You've been so… Just, why?"

"I've always been like this. If you've never realized that, then you're thicker than I thought."

"That's an obvious bluff," Len said, crossing his arms to mirror Kaito. "I know something's up. So open up. I'd like to try to help you."

"Help me?" The wind rustled along their feet. The sky seemed to close in around the tower of Kaito's silhouette. "What makes you think you can help me with anything, Len?"

"So you admit there's a problem."

Kaito tsked. "There's no—No, yeah, actually, there is a problem. And that problem is you."

That didn't hurt at all. That didn't hurt at all. That little twinge in his stomach, it was because he'd skipped lunch to study. It didn't hurt at all. "That was really bloody smooth of you, I do admit that," Len said, consciously turning down the temperature in his head. "But you know, you don't have to keep it to yourself. Can't you just tell me?" he asked quietly.

"You wouldn't understand," Kaito said after a while, his voice quieting as well. "You don't understand anything, Len. You're too…"

"Too what?"

"Never mind."

"I mind, though!" Len said. How could he get this conversation on track, despite his own muddled thoughts? It was like trying to maneuver a bicycle while inebriated. "Look, Kaito, we're friends. You're one of my best friends. Whatever this is, I don't like it. I just want to…" To what? "To get back to normal."

"You want to get back to normal," Kaito repeated, toned it like a question.

"Ye-Yeah."

Kaito raised his head thoughtfully towards the moon. "Friends. You want to be friends again."

"We-We never _stopped_ being friends."

"Friendship," Kaito said slowly, "is a two-way street, you know."

Len sucked in a breath as the meaning seeped in.

He had never before experienced such an enigmatic loss. It was difficult to understand—he couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that… that he and Kaito were no longer friends? It was impossible to figure out, he had no insight into Kaito's mindset—perhaps Len didn't know him as well as he'd thought.

He couldn't understand it, he couldn't think about it. He could only feel it.

"Okay," Len said, sweeping up all the pieces and fragments of himself that had dropped to the ground. "Okay then. Fine, if you're gonna be like that." He tried to display how little he cared in his eyes, like the prettied-up window of a shop going bankrupt, masking the true dinginess that lay within, in a final attempt at recovery.

They were done here—Len had failed to do… Whatever he'd come here for. What did he come here for, again? Kaito shuffled, put down his parting words.

"I still expect you to be at the ball with Amano, though. Just because I don't want to talk _to_ you doesn't mean I can't talk _about_ you."

* * *

It was Monday evening. Three days until exams, five days until winter holidays, eight days until the ball.

Things were going as usual for Rin. She'd finished studying for most of her subjects. All that was left was to brush up on Herbology and Ancient Runes. There would be plenty of time to spare—she might even be able to spare half of Wednesday night for… whatever she felt like doing.

Then she remembered Len. She'd refused to help him because she believed she wouldn't have enough time, but now, it looked like she might. The ball wasn't until next Tuesday, after all.

She considered finding him and re-offering her aid, but eventually she decided against it. He would probably only get mad at her, demand why she didn't just accept the first time he asked, call her stupid for thinking he still needed help—yes, yes, now that she thought about it, it'd been two whole days since their conversation in the library. He probably had it all figured out already. He had no need for her.

The evening was waning, making way for night, and there was hardly anyone up and about in the halls—the castle, so large and open, had poor insulation, so during the harsh winters, everyone preferred hanging out in their respective common rooms by the roaring fire. Rin herself was on her way to the Hufflepuff den, when her wrist was grabbed from behind.

She spun around to lock eyes with a certain Slytherin boy—no, not Len. He was older, sixth year… What was his name, again?

"Rin," he said, something familiar, almost playful tinging his voice, although Rin internally rationalized that she had never spoken with this person before. "Hey."

She simply nodded.

"Do you have a minute? I want to ask you something."

"Sure."

He let go of her wrist and looked around, seemingly nervously. He swept his eyes from the school entrance at the other end of the hall, up the stairs that led to the East Wing—there was really no one around. He smiled.

"So Rin, has anyone asked you to the ball yet?"

What an unexpected question. Rin's mind immediately flitted to Len and the library and Canon in D. Did that count? No, obviously not. He'd said it himself—he wasn't asking her to the ball. That was only a challenge, a… dare, sort of, if you could put it like that. Len didn't like her at all, after all, let alone in a romantic way.

"No."

"Good." He laughed—he had a very open laugh.

"Why?"

"Why else would I ask?" He suddenly grabbed her wrist again, and before Rin knew it, she was inches from his face, as if she'd been putted forward by a gust of wind. "I want you to come with me."

Rin was a bit surprised, to say the least. What was with everyone asking her to the ball lately— _well no, Len didn't really ask_ , she reminded herself. But still. It was strange because just when Rin decided she had no interest in the ball, other people decided to show interest in her? How did that even work? Why her, and why now? Again, she'd never even spoken to this guy before.

Love and romance… Rin wasn't really interested in the fluffy pink parts of life. They were too impractical. Not that she disliked them, but there were many more interesting things. More solid, tangible things; like books, and science.

She was fairly certain that she enjoyed the feeling of being liked—everyone did. It was very normal. But it wasn't like anyone had fancied her before. She didn't ever involve herself with anyone that way—no dressing up to impress anyone, or acting differently in order to get noticed. That stuff was for other girls, girls like Seeu.

She'd only fancied one guy ever in her life, and it was back in primary school—he was two years older than her, and the thing she liked most about him was that he'd won the boardwide science and math competition.

The thought of her old crush prompted a realization. Oh, _now_ she understood. She'd never spoken to this guy in front of her—so what? She'd never spoken to the science guy, either. Romance was impractical. You could come to like someone just by watching them, just like this guy had (apparently) by watching her.

"What's your name?"

His eyes widened. "Oh, did I never tell you my name? Bugger. I'm Yuuma."

"Then, Yuuma. What do you like about me?" She wasn't fishing for compliments—that would've been the implication had anyone else been asking. But Rin was Rin, and she was quite curious as to what made this guy notice her, when there was so little noticeable about her that she was often unable to notice herself.

He seemed very taken aback. "What? Um… what?"

"What do you like about me?"

Yuuma muttered something under his breath that Rin couldn't catch. Then he said, "Well, I dunno. I just think you're… cute?"

"Why?"

Yuuma tried not to double over in his weird mixture of nervousness and sheer amusement. "Well, your… face? And just… everything."

Rin didn't believe that she'd been born with a cute face. Even though the subject of cute faces and not-cute faces was totally subjective, she was still fairly certain that she wasn't alone in thinking that she did not have too cute a face. Well, she supposed it was all totally dependent on various vague factors, so if Yuuma thought she had a cute face, she was at liberty to feel happy about it. So, she smiled.

"Thank you. But… I'm not sure you know me well enough to like _everything_ about me."

Yuuma glanced at her. "Well, we can get to know each other better. If you go to the ball with me."

See, that put her in a predicament. She'd already decided she wasn't going to the ball. She already told Len she wasn't going—but oh right, Len never asked her. Anyway, she still didn't want to go, even if Yuuma here was asking her—he did seem like a nice guy, though.

"I don't really want to go to the ball."

A perturbed look crossed Yuuma's face. "Don't want to go?"

"Yes. I'm saving that evening to write to my parents."

"Oh… But you can write to your parents some other time, right? There's only one ball a year."

"Still, I already decided not to go."

"So that's a no then?"

"Yes."

Yuuma kicked at the ground. "Are… are you sure?"

"Yes. But that doesn't mean I dislike you. It just means I don't want to go to the ball."

He raised a brow. "Okay, but… I just really want to go with you."

Rin fiddled with her sleeve. She really wasn't comfortable with situations like this. "I-If you want, we can talk after, or before… I wouldn't mind being your… girlfriend… Honest. I just don't want to go to the ball."

Yuuma blinked, and when he opened his eyes again, the light in them had changed. "Girlfriend? Who said I wanted you to be my girlfriend?" Then as soon as he said it, he regretted it.

Rin's heart suddenly thudded, like a bass drum being kicked. "What do you mean…?"

Yuuma rushed to correct his error. "No, no, I just meant—we should take it slow, right? Let's go to the ball first and figure things out from there."

"But I don't want to go."

He smiled. "Come on Rin, don't be so stubborn! It'd be nice to get out of your books once in a while, don't you think?"

"I like books," Rin said, frowning.

"Just come."

"No."

"Just come!"

"No."

"Fine!" It was like a wind blew, a curtain swished open, and Rin could finally see Yuuma properly. The way he really was. "Why the hell you're so set on not going, I don't care. Just, whatever."

"Okay…" Rin bit her lip, mostly confused and just a bit damaged from his disparaging expression.

"You know, I don't _want_ to go to the ball with you, anyway. I don't."

"Then why did you ask…?"

Yuuma eyed her, as if sizing her up, judging something. His gaze was sharp and cutting.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No…"

Yuuma exhaled and gave Rin a look—the look her older brother gave her younger brother whenever the latter was doing something particularly annoying. "Why _would_ I want to go with you? I've never spoken to you, for one thing."

"Does that matter?"

He laughed. "Of course it does! And just… look at you."

Rin looked down at herself, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. She sent him a questioning look.

He laughed again—he did have a very open laugh, he did. "You wouldn't get it, I guess. Well, whatever. I'm done with you, anyway."

He began towards the door that led to the dungeons, on the other side of the hall. Rin watched his back, feeling that with every step he took, he was also taking away something else of hers…

Her… calm?

What was this? Suddenly she felt like she was out on a freezing day without a jacket, in a wide open field with nothing around to block the wind. Yet, there was a molten ball of something in her chest, it was as if someone had done something to offend her… But no one had. Yuuma hadn't done anything. He hadn't hit her or insulted her or anything… But it felt like he had.

What was this? Where was her rationality, all of a sudden? She couldn't understand what she was feeling or why she was feeling it, it was all so ridiculous and she wanted to ball it all up and throw it out…

And then, the boy whose back she'd been watching… disappeared.

No, no, she was just taken by surprise. He hadn't disappeared. He'd just fallen over. She let out the breath she'd been holding.

And then she sucked it in again. Her hands started to tremble. Because without her realizing, she'd gotten her wand and… had pointed it straight at where Yuuma had been standing until a few seconds ago.

"Ah…"

She'd taken two steps forward to check on him, oh gosh was he alright, she couldn't even remember uttering an incantation so she had no idea what sort of spell she'd used—but he was standing up and striding towards her before she'd even realized that he'd recovered and was perfectly okay.

"What was that for?" His voice was menacingly quiet.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't know—"

"—what came over you?" he finished. "That hurt, you know, that really bloody hurt."

"I'm so—"

"We'll see how sorry you are when I report you," he said. Rin bit her lip.

"I don't want you to report me."

He considered her for a moment. "Yeah, actually, I think detention'd be too soft." He looked at her one last time as he swirled his wand. " _Conglacio._ "

Pain shot through her leg as if someone was pushing cold needles through her veins—and then she couldn't feel it at all, like everything below her mid-thigh simply wasn't there. She fell to the ground, reached over to clutch at her calf only to find out that touching it hurt, hurt really badly. She really didn't know how that was possible, to feel both pain and nothingness at the same time. Then again, it seemed to make sense on a visceral level.

Looking at it though, there was no external wound. She'd never heard of the spell _Conglacio_ before, though from the sound of it, from the _feel_ of it, it had something to do with ice.

Yes, that's what it felt like. An intense, insane case of frostbite.

When she looked up again, Yuuma had gone. She was alone once again.

She sat for a while, staring at her leg. It could've been worse. At least it was only one leg. Though the feeling wasn't fading… How long was it supposed to last?

Well, she couldn't sit here forever. She had to get back to her room. It was getting late. She tried to get up—but the attempt was useless. She couldn't stand on that leg at all… Hell, she couldn't even move it. It was frozen, completely frozen at this weird angle, and it was really uncomfortable, and there was something tugging in her heart, as if opening a false bottom somewhere in there, and then the faint feeling of falling, even though she was already on the floor.

She swallowed. Jeez, her leg was really bugging her. The feeling would simply not go away, and she couldn't get used to it, either. It was hopelessly persistent.

It was late, it was really getting late—in reality she'd only been sitting there a minute, but it felt like time was whirring by her and there was no way to tell precisely how much had gone. What time was it?

She looked up at the giant clock face that shadowed the entrance hall. She had to blink and squint in order to read the time… (Why was her vision all blurry?)

9:58. Curfew was in two minutes… But that wasn't what stuck out in her mind.

There was someone on the stairs above her.

Overall his posture was very casual. He was sitting cross-legged, holding the railing posts like the bars of a jail cell or a zoo enclosure, looking in like a keen spectator. His eyes were locked onto her quite strongly, and from just that and the fact that he was sitting, Rin could tell that he'd been watching, that he'd seen everything—and probably heard it too. Though Rin couldn't tell what emotion that was, in his eyes. Curiosity? Pity? Amusement? All that she could see in them was familiar blue.

They held eye contact for the longest time. They just stayed there, neither of them moving, until the bell rung in the tenth hour. Rin blinked, and finally she realized that she was crying.

* * *

a/n: sorry today isn't thursday, I've had a busy week~ (I noticed there was a bump in views on Thursday like did u all come here looking for an update I'M SORRY)

It was a good week though! My birthday was on Wednesday! It was such a great birthday tho the best of my life cause they announced Miku Expo North America that day ON MY BIRTHDAY and GUESS WHAT GUYS I'M GOING HOLY SHEEEEEEET I WAS SO EXCITED I WAS CRYING SO HARD CAUSE IT'S BEEN MY DREAM TO SEE DA MIKU FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS AND I HAD NEVER SHED SO MANY TEARS OF JOY BEFORE

Like when she went to LA and New York I was so salt because so close yet so far, but now she's coming like 40 minutes from my house so. I am so happy ok. Like I am getting VIP tickets, I _refuse_ to not get them I am staying home from school on Friday just so I can buy them the minute they go on sale, that is how determined I am. That is how much I care.

and and also I've been fangirling over the newest HoneyWorks song (the PV is what inspired the line "holding the railing posts like the bars of a jail cell") like did you see it asdfgh Haniwa makes me squeal rainbows and the friendship was so strong and just Arisaaaaaa.

Nyway the chapter.

I find that if you want to spy on someone, they won't catch you if you do it from above. (Quick story? My school has 3 lunch periods, and back in grade 9 I had math during 2 of those periods, and my senpai-by-four-days had lunch while I was in math. By some bizarre luck, my math class (second floor) had a window that looked on the cafeteria (first floor), and my seat was by the window so I would just sit there... and watch... really creepily. OTL)

I think I'll make a "question section" a thing... orz I thought it'd encourage people to review idk, all I know is that if YOU ANSWER THEM, IT'LL HELP ME A LOT! even if you just type "yes, i dunno, yes, no" I'd be grateful, so thanks www

 **questions:**

 **did you expect yuuma to be a poophead right when he appeared? could you see from the beginning that it wouldn't end well?**

 **why did yuuma ask her out, anyway? (was it obvious at all...?) (I wanted you to have a mild idea but not know exactly why)**

 **do you like rin as a character? does this chapter flesh her out more? orz**

 **any guesses what's up Kaito's butt? lol Len has no idea...**

3939! See you next time, thanks for reading!


	8. Pain (Pleasure)

chapter 8

pain (pleasure)

* * *

When her eyes met his, he suddenly became very aware of himself. The space between them seemed to constrict, vacuumed, to the point that every breath and every movement of the both of them—he saw it all and felt it all, just _knew_ it all.

 _This is how it should be_ , he thought. This was _right_. It was as if time up until now had been nothing more than a clock ticking, just waiting and wasting moments until the precise second when everything would just magically align with a grand, feeble click. If he had to describe it in a sentence, it would be, "the occasion he'd been waiting for… not forever, but ever since he'd met her."

Her eyes were like the smudge on a painting, her tears the oily film shrouding a dirty pond. Just out of reach of perfection, isolated from beauty and likability… Yet. Yet, so close. Broken and on the floor and looking up to see him, she was sitting there, and he was satisfied. People needed something beneath them in order to feel good about themselves. That was a human truth. And Len, he just needed a reason to feel good after… after yesterday, after Kaito—so this, this meeting, right here and now, wasn't it simply meant to be?

Before he realized it, he was smiling. Softly. Smiling down at her. _You're such a poor thing, Amano. But I'm glad I met you, and I'm glad you're here right now._ All the wrong words for all the right reasons.

He wanted to say something, something to drive it all in—something true, something gently cruel. But wouldn't words cheapen the experience? Wouldn't words shatter the moment? Right now he just wanted to take everything, the silence and her tears and the two of them, so similar yet so different, and pour it all in a picture frame, post it by his bedside for whenever else he needed a reminder that everything would be okay.

He couldn't, though. The giant clock behind him was still ticking even now, the relentless, uncontrollable thing. Another few minutes and a teacher or a prefect would come and make useless noise for being out past curfew and question why _he_ was sitting so questionably near _her_. And so, because he wanted this moment to remain perfect, he ended it.

Every step he took down the stairs was a drumbeat, every breath he took a melody. There wasn't a sore muscle in his body. When was the last time he'd felt this way? This damn euphoric? It was surreal. And then he was on ground level, she was getting closer—each metre Len traversed was accompanied with the feeling that his world had just gotten one metre smaller. And finally, he was in front of her.

"You okay?"

She let out a shivering breath.

"It's okay," he said quietly. Comforted.

"I'm okay," she said, as if to assure him, but all she managed to reveal was the small tremor in her small voice.

"That's good." Len bent to a crouch, slowly, as if moving too fast would crack fault lines in the ground. "I… saw all that with Yuuma. Though I'm not sure I understood it."

"Oh," was all she said. Hurt people didn't talk much.

"How's your leg?"

"It's… I'm not sure. I don't—I don't know this curse."

"I know it." Len raised a brow, a corner of his mouth lifting. " _Conglacio_. Haven't you ever spent a day out when the weather's below freezing? A day like today." A day like yesterday night. (A day like Kaito's heart—a day like his heart.)

"Of course. It's called frostbite. I know—I _know_ what it feels like." Len, so tuned in to her voice and her words, caught sound of an accusatory undertone. He smiled wider.

"Of course you do." Len had never experienced the curse, himself. "Does it hurt?"

"Not… really."

He glanced down at her leg, so thin and small like the rest of her. He reached a hand out towards it, slowly, as if asking permission—but he didn't look at her eyes. He didn't need permission.

A quick exclamation of pain. A breath inhaled with the aftertaste of panic. Len heard the sounds of her trouble. Didn't move his hand.

Her skin was strikingly cold; Len could feel it through the thinness of her leggings.

She didn't tell him it hurt, at least not with words. He wondered why. " _Don't touch it, Len."_ If she said that, he would oblige. He wasn't a sadist. He didn't like pain. He was human; he liked pleasure. Having it…

She inhaled again.

And giving it…

She began a moan, but she immediately took the sound back in as if restraining herself.

Why didn't she just say it hurt? Did she not have pain reflexes, or something? Even as he pressed his hand into the bones beneath her knee, she didn't jerk back or cry out. _There's no need to bottle it in_ , he wanted to tell her. _You can cry out. You can plead me to stop. You can scream_. It was so unlike her to be so illogical. If it hurts, then stifle it. End it. Run away. Wasn't that what everyone did? What you were supposed to do?

He pressed harder. Still, she didn't say a thing. He snuck a glance at her face, and there was no doubt about the fact that she was in immense pain. Wrinkled brows. Clenched teeth. Fresh tears.

 _Amano._

He met her eyes.

 _Rin. Say something. What's wrong with you?_

(What was wrong with him.)

"Does it hurt?" he asked again.

Up until this moment, he thought he'd understood her; she was a simple little girl who disliked magic, disliked people who didn't study, disliked people. She knew every spell in the book and more, but she didn't know anything else—how to make friends, how to laugh and how to live. She was reticent, but she was extremely forward and honest—and that honesty was the one good, admirable thing he saw in her.

So perhaps her next words disappointed him, in a way.

"It doesn't hurt."

In his surprise, he eased the pressure a little. But then, when he saw her relax, he dialled up the force, coming down even harder than before.

"You liar."

He didn't like pain, of course he didn't. He didn't. He didn't like to cause pain. He wasn't a horrible person. But when Rin whimpered, then tried to make it seem like the sound was just the wind, despite the fact that they were indoors… A fire lit up inside him.

"It… doesn't hurt…"

"You liar," he said again. Pressed harder. He brought in his other hand. Squeezed her calf like it was her throat.

"It really… doesn't…" Her knuckles were balled up in her lap. They were white.

He just shook his head. "Are you okay, Amano? Are you—are you okay?"

"I'm okay…!" Desperation in her voice.

He dropped to his knees, put his whole weight on her. He was pushing it now, really pushing it.

"L-Len…"

He glanced up. "Yeah?"

"I… Never mind."

False hope, to be dashed in a second. (Though, did he even know what it was that he was hoping for?)

"You're such a filthy liar, Amano."

He lifted his hands. She let out a breath of relief, and he drank it like it was water and he was thirsty. And then, he brought his hand back down. Slammed his palm onto her knee.

Her tears flowed so freely, so smoothly. But she still didn't scream.

"Are you _really_ okay?" he asked, softly. Looked at her. He didn't even need to ask. Anyone would be able to tell just seeing her face: she was wrecked. (He'd wrecked her.) "Come on, don't lie."

Rin shook her head, sobbing without a sound. "I'm okay, Len. So please, stop asking."

Len just looked at her. She was really something. Did she think she was hiding her weakness? Because she was clearly freaking destroyed—a complete mess of tears and pain and inconsolable _girl_. So what was the point in lying? She was so honest, so, so honest, he knew, he knew that—so, why? Why lie about this? Was she so petty?

Wordlessly, he stood up.

"Come on, then." He pointed his wand at her. " _Wingardium Leviosa_."

As he levitated her up the stairs, he acknowledged a dull feeling in his chest.

Up until now, he'd believed she was strong.

* * *

"What are you doing?" A prefect stood in front of them, carrying a lantern and wearing a suspicious expression.

"She's hurt," Len said, pointing to the girl floating a metre in front of him. "I'm just taking her to the hospital wing."

The prefect frowned. "It's way past curfew, so hurry it up."

Len smiled apologetically. "Yeah, I will. Thanks."

The hospital wing was on the fourth floor. It usually wasn't that long a walk, but for some reason, it seemed to drag on and on tonight. Plus they were continuously interrupted by prefects demanding what the hell Len was doing floating a girl across the castle in the dark—perhaps they thought his intentions were less than innocent. Len found the mere thought very disgusting.

Rin's tears had dried. She seemed almost comfortable with him floating her—she didn't have to exert herself, this way, and Len supposed she should be grateful. What would she have done if he hadn't been there? (Well, a prefect would've found her instead and she wouldn't have had to undergo all that extra pain at Len's hands—that was obvious, and also a thought which Len dismissed.)

"You okay there, Amano?" he asked quietly once the prefect had left.

She glanced back to him, looked to the front again. "Yes."

"Good." He paused. The only sources of light were his wand and the moon through the windows, but it wasn't quite dark—the night seemed to glow. His footsteps echoed on the cold stone floor. He could see his breath fog as he exhaled, and looking at Rin, he could see hers too. "You aren't cold?"

"Of course I'm cold."

He chuckled dryly. "Wonder why they can't just warm the castle up with magic."

"They do," Rin replied slowly. "But they don't expect anyone to be in these corridors at this hour, so I suppose they cancel the spell."

Len shrugged, shivered. "Well just hang on. We're almost there."

He walked a bit longer.

"Len," Rin said, as if to punctuate the moment and start a new one.

"Hm?"

"I'm not scared of you."

He blinked. "Wh-What?" _What?_ "What are you talking about?"

"About before. When you were… My leg."

He'd thought that she'd been too traumatized to talk about what he'd done to her back in the entrance hall. That she'd wanted to forget about that pain, the unkindness that had overcome him, and focus on the way he was now: much calmer and maybe the tiniest bit apologetic and… humane. But Len supposed the whole affair was still eating at her mind, and hell, Rin was _Rin_ , and Rin didn't just let things go and fade away.

"I was just wondering," she said. "Why you… did that."

How could he answer when he didn't know himself? _Don't ask me for something I can't give you._ "I dunno, Amano. It's weird."

She hummed. "I thought it was that you were trying to scare me. And perhaps I was a little scared, then." Len raised a brow. He'd scared her…? Well, of course. Of course he had. And he'd only realized it now. His assertion of power came packaged with an injection of fear. Wasn't that natural; for the submissive to feel fear at the hands of the dominant?

"But now, I'm not," she said, with resolution that Len realized he kind of admired; a jewel underneath all the cobwebs of his scrambled opinions.

The Rin he knew and… The Rin he knew was back.

He frowned. "Are you scared of _anything_ , Amano?"

He hadn't been looking at her, but out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimmer of blue—then when he flicked his eyes to catch it fully, it'd disappeared. "You might as well ask me, 'Are you human?'" Her voice sparkled—not in a flashy way, but it felt clean, like a newly-wiped countertop. "Of course I'm scared of some things."

"Hmm, really now. Like what?"

"Death. And not meeting expectations."

"That's pretty typical, I guess."

"It is." Rin paused and shifted in her comfortable chair of thin air. "But one thing I'm not afraid of is pain."

He laughed derisively. "Bragging, are we, Amano?"

"I never brag."

Well, that was true.

They turned a corner, catching sight of a lantern's glow at the other end of the hall. The person holding it had a tall and slim silhouette. As they got closer, they both realized who it was. Someone hit a home run in Len's stomach.

Yuuma was a prefect.

"Want to turn around?" Len whispered urgently. "We can run up to the fifth floor—"

"I can't run," Rin replied with all the coolness in the world; like she'd usurped Len's own.

"What the hell? No, I'll still be levitating you, obviously—are you _that_ stupid?"

"You shouldn't have said 'we,' then."

He couldn't tell if she was joking or not. Oh yeah—Rin never joked.

Yuuma was still quite far away. They could still make it if they took off now. "Well? Do you want to or not?"

Rin seemed to take a moment to consider Yuuma from afar. Perhaps they made eye contact, or something—Len couldn't tell due to the dark. But then Rin tilted her head and focused the lamps of her eyes back on him—

"I kind of want to talk to him."

"Talk to him? But didn't he just… Why? He's an arse."

"Isn't he your friend?" Rin asked.

"N-No," Len stammered. "Well, our parents know each other." All the purebloods knew all the other purebloods, after all. "But we're not friends."

"I just… want to ask him something," Rin said eventually.

"It can't wait?" She was pretty set on talking to him, huh? Len should've expected that from a girl who never let things lie. Even so, it was surprising that she was so ready to confront him so soon, considering the fact that she'd _cried_ — _she'd_ cried.

"Well, we're both here right now," Rin explained.

Len didn't particularly want to act as mediator of a conversation between them. He didn't want to be involved in a conflict that belonged to two people he didn't care about, and also he wanted to get to bed already, dammit.

"Ugh, why'd this have to happen when _I'm_ here? You know, Yuuma's really a blighter. I'm not gonna protect you or anything. So don't expect—"

He shut up at the weird, questioning look she gave him.

Then with the abruptness of a car crash, Yuuma was right before them. His sudden lamplight made them squint, acting the part of the headlights as if Rin and Len were the deer. Len stepped back silently, allowing the others more space and playing himself as uninvolved as possible.

"Yuuma." Len noticed she used Yuuma's first name, too. It wasn't strange for people to refer to _everyone_ by first name—Miku did it, Piko did it, and so did Fukase—but perhaps it was strange for someone as socially distant as Rin to speak so indiscriminately familiarly.

"Amano," Yuuma said coolly. He opened his mouth to append something, probably scornful, but then he changed his mind and looked to the shadow on the side that was Len. "That you, Kagamine?"

Len grunted so Yuuma could recognize him by his voice.

"I saw you on the stairs back there. You were watching the whole thing, eh? You sneaky bastard. Nice of you to take care of her, though."

Why was Yuuma talking to him? Rin was the one who wanted to talk! Len wanted nothing to do with either of them—so _shut the bloody hell up, Yuuma_. "Uh-huh."

"Funny," Yuuma said. "Len, I never knew you'd taken a liking to Amano."

Len pushed down his voice, which was straining to come out about fifty decibels louder than the situation called for. "What? I'm just being nice, Yuuma."

"Well, yeah," Yuuma said slowly. "But weren't we just talking the other week about Amano? You made it seem like you really hated her. So I dunno, it's interesting."

Len looked at Rin. But he couldn't see her face; he'd moved too far away. "Sure. But would I really leave a crying girl on her own?"

"You think yourself a gentleman, don't you—"

"Erm." Rin split their conversation.

They were talking about her like she wasn't there. Even so, Len had been quite aware of her presence and had chosen his words accordingly—though he hardly realized it. "Sorry, Amano. Er, yeah, Yuuma. Amano wanted to talk to you."

Yuuma frowned. "What?"

"I dunno," Len said, with pure truth. Yuuma raised a brow.

Rin appeared to prepare herself, then unexpectedly turned to not Yuuma, but Len. "Len." Her skin was warmed orange by the lamplight. "Can you levitate me closer?"

"What?"

"Closer to Yuuma."

Len gaped. "Errrrm. What?"

"Just do it. I can't walk myself."

"But why? What are you aiming for—"

Her eyes flattened. "Just do it."

He laughed quite suddenly. "Okay then, Amano, whateeeeever you want." So he lifted his wand and pushed her towards Yuuma, who'd been observing their quick exchanges with a hung jaw.

Yuuma didn't step back as Rin came near—he knew that if he did, Len would just push her closer again. So he stood cooperatively as he was washed in the thoughts that radiated from the suns in Rin's eyes—though inside, he was a torrent of unsettlement.

He glared at Rin. "Don't ask me to apologize, you bi—"

"I don't need an apology."

"What do you want then? A hug?"

Rin scratched at her neck, then slowly lifted her leg, the cursed one—Len looked on, feeling like he knew what was coming next.

Rin said, with heartfelt simplicity: "Touch it."

Len's breath caught. Though Yuuma's lamp didn't flicker, it was like the room had flashed black for a second, as Rin spoke words more unfathomable than the world's darkest unsolved mysteries. Yet despite the strangeness, Len felt the softest petal of understanding.

Yuuma just laughed. "What? What was that?"

"This is the leg you cursed," Rin explained patiently. "I want you to touch it."

"Oh, bloody hell," Yuuma said, understanding yet not understanding. "Why would you want that?"

Rin considered him for a moment, then looked down at the ground. "I think… I think after what you did to me today—I think I deserve this one favour."

Yuuma scoffed, but maybe he recognized how curious and unusual it was for Rin act as if scorned—Len sure did. "Hey, you're the one who cursed me first!"

"I lost control."

"Yeah, well, so did I! You're acting like I'm the dick here, but you're really just being a self-absorbed—"

"You're not a dick. I didn't say—"

She was interrupted by Len's bark of laughter—he'd internally berated himself afterwards, oh so harshly, but it honestly just came out. Hearing Rin say that—that _word_ was just too, too precious.

"Shut up, Kagamine," Yuuma bit out. "You, Amano, you need to learn your place—"

"All I want is for you to touch it. That's all." There was such restrained harshness in Rin's voice. It was truly scary, Len thought. Amano had never spoken that way to him before—he wondered why. It wasn't as if he'd never been an arse towards her before. Sure, he was more subtle and smooth about it than Yuuma, but he was still irrevocably guilty.

"I don't want to touch your damn leg."

Rin huffed. Len didn't know why he found her irritation so… So _funny_.

"Hey, Yuuma," he called, half-laughing. "Come on, just do it. I don't wanna stand here forever."

"Merlin's bloomers," Yuuma grumbled as he reached up and, without warning, gripped Rin's ankle. She jumped in midair, and a tiny grunt of pain escaped.

There was a difference between being the instigator and the observer. It was as stark as day and night, as stark as black and white; man and woman; Rin and Len. Back in the entrance hall, he'd been so absorbed in himself, in Rin, and he hadn't been able to see just what he was doing. Those moments were all composed of quick urges and sensations. No thoughts. But now that he was so far removed, he saw. Yuuma's hand, Rin's breathing—it was cruel.

For some reason, though, the realization brought about very little guilt. There was a bit of it, yes, but there were much stronger feelings which overwhelmed it, and it dissolved like salt in water. There were a lot of different feelings floating about, Len realized. All so distinct, yet indistinguishable. They all mixed together like paints on a palette; Len could honestly not find words for what was currently stirring in his chest cavity.

Yuuma was much quicker to let go than Len—the whole thing hadn't lasted more than five seconds, though by the end he was clearly uncomfortable.

"There, happy?" he demanded, understandably confused.

"Thank you," Rin said. "That's all I wanted." She had a look on her face that placated: ' _It was easy, right?'_

"Still don't get you," Yuuma said, shaking his head.

"I just wanted to tell you something," Rin replied. "And there are some things you can't communicate with words."

Yuuma wasn't the thinking type—he wasn't the feeling type either. "You _do_ know how bloody weird you are, don't you?"

"Everyone is weird."

"You're impossible," Yuuma muttered. Then he hoisted his lantern and stepped away from Rin's overbearing presence. "Well, good _night_ , Amano," he said, bitterly. "You too, Kagamine." And he was gone before they could return the farewell.

It took Len a few seconds to register that he was once again alone with Rin.

"You know, I don't really get what you were aiming for by that, either," he said.

Rin turned to face him, blinked as if just remembering he was there. "It doesn't matter if _you_ get it. I just wanted _Yuuma_ to understand."

Len didn't appreciate being shoved to the side. "Understand _what_?"

"A bunch of things…" Rin trailed off. "I wanted him to see how he… Hm."

"Hurt you?" Len offered. "You wanted to make him aware of the fact that he hurt you."

"...I suppose." Rin paused. "But no, I wasn't hurt."

"Hey, you just admitted it!"

"M-Maybe I wanted him to think I was hurt, but I really actually wasn't…"

"Oh, come on." He stared at her hard, as if trying to hammer his words into her eyes. "It's okay to admit you're not okay."

She gave him that look, the look she always gave him whenever he showed any sort of cheek. "I suppose you're fixed on being wrong."

"Damn right," Len concurred.

He began to walk. The regained silence was calm like hot tea.

They were almost to the hospital wing when at random, with no warning, a memory bubbled up the depths of Len's mind and popped on the surface, forcing a laugh out of him again (curse everything).

More like, Rin cursing.

"Hey, Amano."

"Hm?"

"I have a request."

"What is it?"

"Before I tell you, you have to promise you'll do it."

"...No. You should tell me what it is first."

"Awww, come on."

"Or else I won't do it."

"Okay, okay. It's just words. I just want you to say something. It's a sentence—just repeat it after me."

"Why?"

"Come oooooonnnn, Amano. You think you can do me just one favour?"

She thought about it, then gave a little sigh. "As long as you acknowledge that I was requested to speak those words, and that even if I speak them, I don't necessarily believe in them."

"Of course, Amano, of course."

"Then, what is it?"

Len took a moment to gather himself. He couldn't laugh. He couldn't laugh. He put a cork on his heart and plugged up his mind— _he couldn't laugh_.

"Okay." He covered his mouth—he couldn't laugh! "Say this… _Len Kagamine is a dick_."

"...What?"

"Say it! You promised you'd say it!"

"Erm—Len Kagamine is a dick."

He couldn't help it. The cork popped off, and Len laughed loudly.

* * *

a/n: hey guys have u seen the rinlen v4 designs mmmmm their outfits are so cuuuuute

thanks sososo much for all the reviews, they give me energy to write more! :D *cough*

I'm actually quite happy with this chapter. I'm not sure if you'll think the same way though haha

 **questions:**

 **in this chapter. there are a lot of places where I think some people might project a, uh, inappropriate connotation onto certain parts? be honest, did your mind go down the gutter at any point? OR MAYBE IT'S JUST ME**

 **do I get too abstract sometimes? like is there anything you don't understand? a lot of things in this chap are left to your interpretation so I'm kinda nervous people will get impatient with me OTL**

 **do you enjoy reading rin and len's interactions? are they entertaining? I was... proud of that last part lol**

I don't even know if british people use the word "dick" as an insult haha

lolol I'm too tired to think of good questions hahaaaaa I hope they're not too much trouble to answer~

by the way, let's talk a sec about this story's length. We're already 30k words in but I feel like we're just starting... lol. I'm aiming for this to be more than 100k words but less than 200k. Just to give you an idea. I like to take this slow. And Rin and Len, well they've got several trials ahead of them...

:D thanks for reading! please review! ahaha I'm gonna buy my Miku Expo tickets tomorrowwww


	9. Healing

chapter 9

healing

* * *

The infirmary was quiet. Straight rows of empty beds; tall, uncurtained windows. The room was a still-life painting, a ghost haunt. The matron, Madam Maika, was probably getting ready for bed, if not already asleep.

Len set Rin down on the closest bed. "Wait there," he told her, temporarily leaving her side to call Maika.

Len was familiar with Maika—he encountered her all too often, on account of all his Quidditch injuries. She was an experienced health expert, but also very young and very cranky.

"I can't believe you'd have the nerve to come here at this hour, Mister Kagamine. What is it this time?" She smirked. "Did you finally realize you're sick?"

Len snorted. "It's not me. I just brought a—" A what? Rival? Enemy? Friend? "—er, I brought someone." He gestured towards the bed nearest the entrance.

Maika pushed past him without another word. Len followed wryly.

"What's the problem?" Maika asked Rin, with a gentleness—politeness—that Len hadn't seen since their first meeting.

"Oh, erm, my leg. This one. From here to my foot."

"The Conglaciatus curse," Len supplied.

"I'm not asking _you_ ," Maika snapped, evoking a snicker out of Len. Maika lit a lantern on the bedside table and looked to Rin with concern. "How did it happen?"

Len was done here. He'd delivered the girl, she was in safe hands now. He could go to bed. He had no more reason to be involved.

But he was already involved. He'd already come this far, so he might as well see the whole situation to its end.

"I erm, got into an argument with a classmate."

"You kids, always fighting." Maika shook her head. "You all need to grow up." She held her lit wand to Rin's leg, examining it. "Okay, well, you'll probably be in here for a couple of days. It takes a while to fix all your nerve connections."

Rin appeared disturbed that her nerve connections had been tampered with. Len mentally patted her back.

"I've got a potion for you," Maika continued. "You wait while I get it. And you, Mister Kagamine, why are you still here? It's after hours! Get out before I take off house points!"

"Whaaaaat?" Len called as she walked towards the cabinet across the room. "But-But you _want_ me here, don't you?"

"Maybe if you were here for a concussion."

Len laughed. "That was so rude! You shouldn't be rude to students, Maika."

Maika examined the labels on the shelves of bottles, ignoring him. With a grin, Len turned to Rin. She was staring at her hands in her lap, not paying much attention.

"Plus, Rin wants me to stay with her." He lowered his voice. "Right, Amano?"

As expected, she looked up with dull eyes. "You should go to bed."

Maika sniggered quietly. Len stepped backwards and flopped onto the bed next to Rin's, spreading his arms and feeling the cold sheets. "Why are you all so _boring_?"

" _You're_ the boring one," Maika quipped, coming back and handing Rin a flask of scarlet liquid. "Here you go—what'd you say her name was, Kagamine?"

Len sat up. "Rin. Rin Amano."

"Here you go, Miss Amano. Drink it all. It'll pain your leg, but it'll go away in a few seconds."

Rin took the flask and gulped the potion down. She seemed fine for a moment, but then she coughed and the flask dropped to the bed and rolled across the sheets.

Len turned away and looked out the window.

Eventually he heard Rin breathe out a long, shaky breath. He looked back at her. She looked fine, recovered. Well, that was good.

"The worst of it's over." Maika took back the flask and went to the sink to wash it. "You won't be able to walk for a while, so I'll be keeping you here."

"But exams…" Trust Rin to worry about exams when she's bedridden.

"I can get you exempt from them if you want. I'll talk to the headmistress for you."

"No," Rin said. "I want to write them."

Maika raised a brow. "Well, I'm sure you'll be fine by Thursday, so if that's what you want." She smiled. "You're diligent, aren't you?" Maika's eyes flickered to Len, ever so briefly. "You could teach a thing or two to little Lenny over here. You'd be a good match for him!"

Len cast all his tiredness and all his disdain for Rin towards Maika (there was a lot of it). "Er, Maika, no. Just… _no_."

Maika smiled down at Len, a step higher than him on the podium of life. "Ohoho, I think I found his weak point."

Len glanced at Rin. He couldn't read her face—there was nothing _to_ read. She really didn't care about being teased, huh? Well, props to her, the annoying little brat.

He crossed his arms, settling on poking at Maika's own weak point. "I really don't trust your opinion, though, Maika. Especially not on things like," he gestured at the invisible (nonexistent) thread between himself and Rin, "this. Since, wait, how old are you? Thirty-five? And you're still not married?"

Maika smiled coolly, though Len knew he'd scored the goal. "First of all, I'm not thirty-five, you're just blind." She slapped the flask onto the counter and marched back to Rin's bedside. "Second of all, maybe that just means I have _taste_. Just because you change girlfriends with the seasons doesn't mean you know anything about love—in fact I'd say you're just too impulsive and don't know what's good for you—"

Did she have to? Did she really have to? Dammit Maika was the most annoying, bitchiest, invasive nurse and how the hell did she even get hired— It'd been months since he'd last had a girlfriend! Maika was most likely just assuming that his girl friends were his girlfriends— But so what if he had a lot of girl friends?! And now that she saw he was annoyed, she was smiling at him, so damn _smugly_ , dammit dammit dammit— "You're gonna die alone, Maika."

"And you're gonna die of an STI, because if and when you come to me with one, I'm sure as hell not going to treat you."

...What was that?

The above question referred to two things. Firstly, he didn't know what the hell she meant by 'STI'—he wasn't a bloody doctor. And secondly, that sound.

He turned, slowly, towards Rin—he almost didn't want to look at her, because he was apprehensive—afraid—of what he knew he was about to see…

Rin was laughing (it was more of a giggle, really—a tiny, quiet thing that was only audible in the dead of the night).

It felt like someone just washed his insides with bleach. Amano… laughed. Rin Amano just laughed. What was the world coming to? What had he done? Did he say anything funny? Did Maika say something funny? No, no, there wasn't anything funny. He didn't even know Rin Amano was born capable of laughing. It was like the moon just collapsed into the Earth, leaving the planet a lifeless cluster of rock and dust. And, and… His stomach flipped. Because he was so surprised.

He shook his head. Turned back to Maika. "What the hell is an STI?"

Maika burst out laughing too. "Oh man, you don't—holy—did your parents never— Ahh. Wow. Why don't you tell him, Rin?"

Rin looked at Maika curiously. "Why me? When you're the nurse."

Maika shrugged. "I just—eh."

Rin didn't smile as she turned to Len and said quietly, "Sexually transmitted infection."

"I—what?"

"That's what STI stands for."

Red. That was the only thing in Len's mind—red from anger, red from unadulterated embarrassment.

Maika was very meddlesome, often toeing that hard line which professionals weren't allowed to cross—teachers just shouldn't be so friendly with students. But Maika couldn't be arsed about rules and norms, so, somehow, somewhere along the line, Len had made friends with this woman, who was over a decade his senior—Len could make friends with anyone, after all.

She was _such_ an annoying friend, though.

"What the fuck, Maika?" His voice was low.

"Five points from Slytherin," Maika drawled. "No swearing in front of _staff_." She jabbed a thumb into her chest, smirking.

Len rolled his eyes. "No, seriously. Come on! I'm fifteen, I haven't gone past—" He came to a crashing stop, not even able to feel his face anymore, it was burning so brightly.

"Past what?" Maika said, feigning interest. "Tell me, tell me—Tell _us_."

Rin's presence reappeared in Len's mind like a creeping vine, and Len could no longer remember how to breathe or move or do anything.

"Come on, we really want to know."

Couldn't she just drop it? Couldn't she just drop it already? Please.

Rin was sitting on her bed like a little bird. She hardly made a wrinkle on the sheets. She didn't exactly appear curious about—about how far he'd gone—but there was a thoughtful look about her, as if casually strolling through the forest of her mind. Calm like the blue sky.

Len breathed in, and when he breathed out, he pulled a lever and flushed all the red out of his mind. He pulled up a brow, lending Maika a serious, questioning look. "I dunno. I don't think it'd be _appropriate_ to tell a member of school _faculty_."

Maika's eyes twinkled. "Aw, you _are_ really boring… But it's okay, 'cause I suppose none of that matters, if it was with girls other than Miss Amano here."

He laughed, finally getting over himself. "At least I actually _get_ stuff."

Maika wrinkled her nose. "You're so annoying. Go to bed now."

Len stood up. "Yeah, I dunno why I wanted to hang around here in the first place. I'm so fucking sleepy."

"Five points from Slytherin," Maika sang. Len clenched his fists to prevent himself from giving her the finger. He'd marched to the door when—

"Len?"

He focused on the girl on the bed, consciously ignoring the shadow beside it that was Maika.

"Yeah?"

"Erm…" She looked off to the side. "You see, the thing is…" She trailed off, glanced at Maika. "Actually, never mind."

"What?" Maika said. "Can't have your moment when I'm around?" She grinned. "Sorry, but I can't leave you alone past visiting hours."

Rin shook her head. "No, it's nothing. I'll—" She thought for a moment. "I'll send you a note, Len."

He quirked a brow at her. What did she possibly have to say to him that she couldn't say in front of Maika? He thought Rin didn't know how to be embarrassed.

"Er, sure." He put his hand on the doorknob. "No problem. See you, Amano. I hate you, Maika."

He closed the door behind him. Heaved a sigh. But then he realized his cheek muscles hurt. From… smiling.

Man, what a day.

Finally, he could go to bed.

* * *

The next morning, at about six-thirty, Len had been changing out of his pajamas when a loud, firework-like crack sounded, and a house elf appeared on his bed with a cute bounce and wobbly balance. He yanked his pants on, glaring.

"What the hell?"

He checked if his roommates had woken up from the noise. Thankfully, they hadn't. Gumiya rolled over and scratched his stomach.

The house elf bowed. "My deepest apologies, Master. But I was requested to deliver a note." It held out a piece of folded parchment. Understanding dawned on Len's face, and he took the note with kindled anticipation.

"Thanks."

"You are most welcome, Master," the house elf said before disappearing with another cringeworthy crack.

Gosh, why did Apparition have to make such loud noise? Sighing, Len hopped back into bed and unfolded the parchment.

Damn, her handwriting was so neat—though he'd already known that, what with the notebook trick he liked to pull. And the note was… Unexpectedly long. He thought it would've been a couple of sentences, if not a couple of words—but she'd written paragraphs. Jeez, what did Rin even have to say? Somehow though, the length of it stirred a couple things inside him: curiosity for the most part, but also something else that would have made him feel like a weak loser if he'd recognized it.

 _Len,_

 _I think I'm the type of person who can communicate better in writing than speech. There are a lot of people like that._

 _I'm writing this just after you left—Maika has gone, but she lent me parchment and a self-refilling quill. I suppose it's self-refilling because she doesn't want me to spill ink on the sheets, though I'm not sure why that would be a problem, because you can easily take ink stains out of sheets with a scouring charm. I'm sure you know that. I think we've both spent many nights doing homework in bed._

 _Well, the point of this letter is to ask you a favour. I haven't finished studying for Herbology and Runes, you see, so I would appreciate it if you could fetch my books and bring them to me. You can ask one of my roommates—tell them my books are under my bed. I'm sure they'd be happy to help. And if you could also bring me spare parchment, I would appreciate it._

 _Now, while I'm at it, I suppose there are some other things I'd like to say._

 _First of all, I hope you don't disparage me for laughing at you last night. I saw your expression and thought you were bothered by it, but please don't misunderstand. I wasn't laughing at you, or making fun of you. I just thought, well, it was nice. That you and Maika are such good friends. From your banter, you seemed quite fond of each other, and—I'm not sure why I laughed, but please know that it was not ill-intentioned. It had nothing to do with you not knowing what an STI is. I wasn't making fun of you for that, and in fact, I wouldn't expect you to know, anyway. You wizards don't learn things like this in school, do you? I've recently learned that you lot don't go to primary school, and all your basic life skills are learned at home. So if your parents never told you, you would have no way of knowing. So it's no fault of your own._

 _Secondly, I'd like to thank you properly for helping me get to the hospital wing. I know you were tired and didn't particularly want to help me, but you still did, and I'm grateful._

 _Thirdly, I thought I should tell you off for swearing in front of a staff member. You shouldn't do that._

 _Finally, about what we talked about in the library. About you and your friend—Kaito. How are things going with that? Have you figured it out? I'd like to talk to you about that when you come to deliver my books._

— _Rin_

 _Though I suppose to you, I'm 'Amano.' You know, I used to think of you as 'Kagamine', but I think there's something oddly distant about calling people by their last names. Not that we're quite friends—I know you don't like me, and I'm fine with that. I don't particularly like you either. But if 'Len' was the name your parents gave you, then I think it's best to use that name, no? And, well, I think Len is a nice name, and I think it suits you. I couldn't think of you as anything other than 'Len.'_

Well.

Well.

He just blinked at the page for a few seconds, her words blurring, both on the parchment and in his mind.

He now knew why she'd rather write a note than speak in person.

It was just, it was so _interesting._ He'd never heard Amano speak that much, for as long as he knew her—granted, she hadn't even _spoken_ these words, but it _felt_ like she had. He could still hear her voice in his head.

She wasn't a talker, so he'd always wondered what was in her mind. How that 'amazing' brain of hers worked. And it wasn't like this letter had given him much insight into that at all, he knew that, but he just felt like it _had_. He felt like he knew her better. Or some other rubbish like that. Like it was now confirmed to him that there was actually something living and breathing under her cold shell of a facade.

He wondered, though. If she had that much to say, why couldn't she just say it? Was she just shy? Or maybe… It was because _he_ was hard to talk to? That he'd never given her the _chance_ to talk.

Not that—Not that he _wanted_ to listen to her talk.

Anyway, her books. He supposed he could ask Miku at breakfast. But no, Miku would ask too many questions. Seeu, then. Seeu was too in love with him to ask questions.

"Ooh, what's that?" Gumiya suddenly appeared over his shoulder, cutting off his sprinting train of thought.

Len whacked Gumiya's head, quickly refolding the note. "Just homework."

"You liar," Gumiya said, grinning. "Oh my gosh, I saw it was signed 'Rin' at the end. It's Rin Amano, right? The Rin Amano we both know and love?"

Len coughed, attempting to steer the topic away from the letter. "You love Amano?"

Gumiya shrugged. "Well I think she's alright. Don't love her as much as you do." He swiped at the letter—Len shoved it out of his reach. "Come on man, what _is_ that? Your date plans?"

"No—holy shit, can you get off me? No, it's about homework. Too intellectual for you."

Gumiya shoved Len off the bed—off of _his own_ bed, what kind of shit eater was he? "Oi, don't insult me! I _know_ you don't like Amano—I hear you muttering about murdering her in your sleep—so chill."

Len got off the floor, rubbing his head and scowling.

* * *

"Here you go," Seeu chirped, holding out Rin's textbooks and notebooks.

"Thanks." He took them.

"Happy to help! Don't hesitate to ask if you ever need me again."

Len nodded and smiled. "I'll keep that in mind."

Seeu skipped away—she really was happy she got to help him, huh? Well, Len supposed he liked making people happy. Smiling slightly, Len put the books in his bag and started his way up to the hospital wing. He pushed open the door, its grunting creaks announcing his entrance.

In the daytime, the tall windows seemed like fragments of the sky itself. It was bright and beautiful, and the pure white of the bedsheets stunned his eyes like snow. He squinted around the room. Maika was nowhere in sight.

The only occupied bed was Rin's. Her ankle was tied to this weird instrument which was in turn attached to the bedframe—a monitoring device? It looked tight and uncomfortable, but she was nevertheless fast asleep.

She lay on her back, her chest rising and falling like waves coming home to shore, but her blankets were askew and the thing attached to her leg was prominently mechanical, giving the scene the overall impression of a tampered Sleeping Beauty. Lifeless, but with a quality of warmth.

The only girl he'd ever been able to watch sleep was Miku, and Miku slept like an ogre. A cute ogre, but still an ogre. So there was something oddly compelling, ephemeral, graceful, about this in front of him.

He set his bag down and lightly sat on the bed opposite her.

"Amano," he called, quietly.

She didn't stir.

"Amano." Louder.

Of course that wasn't going to wake her. He wasn't even trying.

He stepped forward and seated himself on her bed. He lifted her blanket and peeled it off her, crumpled it at her foot. She was in the pale-blue infirmary gown—it was smooth and thin and spotless. He held her shoulder in his hand for a hesitant moment before shaking it.

"Amanoooooo. Amano Amano Amano… Rin?"

She was fast asleep. He released her shoulder.

Defenseless. That was the word for it. She was completely defenseless right now, lying beside him without her walls of thought and rationality and emotionlessness. All that she was right now, was an uninhabited body. (Think of all things he could do to her.)

He wouldn't do a _thing_ , of course. What kind of guy did you think he was? And that would've been disgusting, anyway. He was pretty sure he only liked conscious girls. And come on, it was _Amano_.

He prodded her cheek. "Wake up, wake up." Took to pinching it, which he found unsettlingly amusing. "Come on, it's not good to nap in the middle of the day. Even if you're injured." He glanced at her leg. No, he shouldn't touch it. "Amano."

An idea hit him, and he grinned. "Hey Amano, are you ticklish?" Not that he expected a response, but hm, that seemed like a pretty good idea. So he shifted on the bed, hovered his hands over her sides, sniggering to himself. "Okay, this is gonna be good."

He brushed his fingers over her robes, softly, with delicacy that matched the atmosphere. She squirmed. Len internally celebrated his victory.

"H-huh?" Her hands flew to cover her sides. Len steered around them, kept at it. "Mngg…" A whimper punctuated by a giggle.

She opened her eyes. Len pulled his hands back.

"Good morning."

"Len?" Innocently disoriented, she sat up and scanned her surroundings, as if last night had escaped her mind completely. Then she relaxed. "Oh, right."

"You sleep like a rock," Len snorted. "Good thing you're ticklish, though. It was either that or dumping water on you."

"I don't think I would've liked that," she said uncertainly.

"Then like I said, good thing you're ticklish."

"I-I'm not particularly ticklish." She seemed a tinge red. "I think I responded just as anyone would—"

"Blah blah blah. Anyway. I brought your books." He waved a hand at where he'd dropped his bag.

"Oh." She looked to where he was gesturing, registered that he'd actually done what she asked. She smiled. "Thanks."

"Sure." He returned her smile, weakly, as if uncertain. "Er, here, I'll get them—" He reached over to grab his bag, but then something stopped him—something that had been bugging him ever since he'd read her letter. "Actually. Amano, are you sure you should be studying when you're in the freaking hospital wing?"

"Huh? Er, yes."

He shrugged, cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, I dunno about that. You should really just take this time to rest, I think."

She shook her head earnestly. "I've rested plenty. But I'm really not prepared for Runes and Herbology exams."

"But… But you've already studied for them, haven't you? You strike me as the type of person to study for things months in advance."

"I began studying for these exams in November," she admitted. "But that's not the point. I just feel that I should take advantage of the time I'm in here—"

"By resting."

"No, by studying."

He slipped his shoes off and crossed his legs, settling himself into her mattress and glaring mildly at the floor. "If you've started in bloody _November_ , then I honestly think you'll be fine without studying for the last two days. So…" Mischief blended into his expression. "I think I'll keep your books, actually."

She narrowed her eyes. "I don't think you know my abilities better than I do myself. I know myself, and I don't think I would be able to perform my best if I don't read over Runes and Herbology _now_. They're my books. You can't just keep them."

"Sometimes, though, people don't really know what's best for themselves." He was only joshing her now—he really didn't give much of a shit how she chose to spend her time in the hospital. It was her choice. But… Not like he'd allow her that choice. "How about you just not write on Thursday, then? Maika said you'd be allowed to postpone until after break—"

"Why are you so concerned?" She sounded the slightest bit like a petulant kid now—aw. "I asked you for my books and you brought them to me, so just _give_ them to me."

Len raised a brow, speaking as the thought came to his mind. It just seemed like the right thing to say, even though it was so very, very wrong. "Are you going to yell at me for caring about you?"

It was a lie as white as her bedsheets—acting, scripted—but at the same time it was spur-of-the-moment, thoughtless—in any case, it was fake. So obviously fake. So why did she suddenly stop and shrivel into herself? "Erm… I'm not—I'm not yelling at you. I didn't raise my voice."

Len calmed himself and buckled into just going with it. "Yes you did."

"I didn't! I just… Want to study," she said weakly.

He took in her expression and hid a smile. Awwww yes, he'd won. He faked a sigh. "You know what, Amano? I'm sorry. You have a choice, and I don't want to force my opinion onto you. But you know, if you were to listen to me, I'd be really grateful."

She hesitated. (Seeing her unsure of herself made him feel like he'd just had a filling, tasty meal.) "I… okay. I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"Heh, so you admit you were yelling."

"I don't—I don't control myself well in anger." She looked away. Her voice dropped. "It's really very annoying."

He shrugged. "Nah, I'm the same way, I reckon. So." He nudged her shoulder to get her to look at him again. "I'll be keeping your books, alright?"

She seemed downcast for a moment, but then there was an updraft and then there was gratitude in her eyes. "Fine. Thanks."

"Thanks?"

"For… caring, right?"

'I don't care I don't care I really don't' was what he wanted to say. But of course he couldn't say it. Those words would ruin too many things—rain on a sunny day. "Sure."

She smiled lightly, and the whole room turned a little brighter, if that was possible.

"I don't think it'd make a difference anyway," he muttered, staring at his feet. Damn, the day he chose to take his shoes off was the day he'd worn one brown sock and one blue. "We all know you're going to get top scores regardless."

"That's not true."

"It is very true, and you know it. So don't worry."

"I think I'm going to keep worrying," she said slowly. "But… I suppose it's okay, if it means you won't."

Their eyes met, but Len didn't need to look into her eyes to know that she was sincere about even this. Where did she get off, saying things like that? Didn't she know her boundaries? You weren't supposed to say things like that to people who didn't care. He didn't care. But she thought he did.

What had he gotten himself into? What kind of grave had he dug for himself? Him and his stupid motormouth.

"Anyway," Rin said. "There was something else I wanted to talk about."

Oh, yeah. The Kaito thing. Rin had also wanted to talk about that, for some reason.

Ah, Kaito. Kaito, Kaito, Kaito. It was strange, Len slowly realized. Maybe it was just a defensive mechanism, selective memory, but trying to think about it triggered nothing but placid shrugs of the shoulder. The argument and the whole fiasco and even his tormented feelings had all seemed to dull, fade away over the past day until he just couldn't focus on them anymore. Not when there was something much brighter and more vibrant before him. "Oh, yeah. Kaito. Um, well, it's fine?"

"Have you decided what you're going to do?"

He scratched his neck. "Erm, no, not really. But I guess— I don't care as much, anymore? I really… Don't mind what he does, anymore. It's…" Over.

Was it really over? Well, no. It definitely wasn't. He was definitely still irritated, but it just didn't feel like an immediate problem. Like something on the other side of the river.

He should've been glad that he'd stopped caring—wasn't it much easier for him, this way? But he _wanted_ to care, he _wanted_ to still be cut up about it, about all he'd lost in the past week… But he just _didn't_. And maybe he did feel a little empty, but…

It just didn't seem like it mattered anymore. Sure, there was a thousand years' worth of conflict on his shoulders, but it would pass. So what if Kaito hated him, so what if people found out about Ia—so what? He kind of accepted his situation, and he could get through it. Somehow. Even if he couldn't come up with a plan, he would _feel_ his way through it. Because relationships weren't based off cold thought and planning, they were based off of feelings.

In other words, he trusted himself to take the right path—whatever that was. Everything would be okay.

Rin hummed. She didn't appear to catch wind of his inner thoughts. "Well, that's good." She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it.

"What?" he prompted.

"No… I just thought… But if you don't care about it anymore… If you've got it handled, then just forget it."

"No, what? Tell me."

She didn't meet his eyes. "It's nothing. You should, erm, you should be getting down to class—wait, what time is it?"

"It's like, two-something. It's my free period right now."

"Oh. Well, you should—you should use your free period to study! What are you doing, wasting your time visiting me? I-If you want to beat me on exams, you should be using every minute of your time to prepare."

Okay, this was interesting. This was pretty interesting. What was she trying to cover up? "Nah, I don't think I'd be able to beat you no matter how much I studied. So we can hang out a bit longer." He grinned.

"Well… Okay…"

He nodded. "So then, what was it that you wanted to say?"

"Nothing."

He put on a mock-concerned expression. "Amano, you shouldn't lie. You should just tell me."

"But… No, well, you see, I thought that I would offer something to help you with your problem with your friend. But now I see you don't need my help, so it's fine."

"Oh?" Len frowned. "So what, you wanted to help me research speech charms after all?"

"Well, no. I maintain that you shouldn't use speech charms on anyone. It's not morally correct."

"Okay…"

He waited for her to continue, egging her on with faux-impatience.

Finally, she looked away. "It's just, you're going to get mad at me if I tell you," she said, fisting her blankets. "It was a stupid idea in the first place, I don't know what I was thinking."

He crossed his arm over his chest in salute. "I solemnly swear that I will not get mad at you."

"...I don't trust you."

He laughed—he thought it was funny because it was _smart_ of her not to trust him. She really shouldn't trust him. "Come on, trust me."

"Fine." She opened her palm and stared at her hand, then brought it up to peer at him from between her fingers—like she was looking into the sun. He couldn't see her face, but she could see his. "It's the ball." Oh. "You haven't found a date yet?" Oh.

His heart kickstarted. _Oh._

Was this actually happening? Was this where she was actually going? If he'd known that it would end up like this, he'd have let the issue drop. Ugh, him and his nosiness!

"N-No. No, not yet."

"There was no one in your mind?"

Crap crap he was turning red again whyyyyy— "Well I was just going to go with Miku, I mean, she hasn't found anyone yet either, I think. But I—I didn't _particularly_ want to go with her, I mean… She's like, my last resort."

"Oh."

Trying to meet Rin in the eye was like trying to get out of bed on a Saturday morning. He just couldn't do it, it was physically impossible. "But, wait… Amano, are you…" FUCK HIS VOICE CRACKED WHYYYYY

She nodded, not appearing to notice his awkwardness—stupid calm Amano doing everything stupidly calmly— "I thought about it, and I decided that if it helped you… I just want to repay you. Because, I think you helped me out more than you know. So if it was with you, I wouldn't mind going after all."

"So…" Weak. He was so weak. "You're asking me to the ball."

"I suppose I am."

* * *

The first was Ruby. The second was Xin Hua. The third, fourth, and fifth were nameless second-year girls.

And the sixth was Rin Amano.

* * *

a/n: hey guys! thanks again for following this story!

asdfhjfhjg Len is so awkward ahahahaha don't worry confident!Len will be back after he gets some time to think I swear

so you know I've been updating weekly since it started. I honestly don't get stressed from doing so - I write and update so much for the sheer fact that I really enjoy writing this story! however, I will be going on a 2-3 week hiatus starting now. The reason being, I wanted to go back and rewrite uh, basically everything I have written so far, _including_ this chapter (ashdjg I was so lazy this chapter I can't think and I feel like I'm rushing everything and I'm like ded rn). Since a friend of mine (heeeey choco-san) brought up some places where my writing can improve! I'll be adding scenes, making things flow better and sound better and more exciting etc. etc. In the author's note for the next time I update, I'll tell you where the big changes are so you don't have to reread the whole thing. Though you can if you want, and I'd be happy if you did!

It's good this way cause now the Yule Ball chapter, either chapter 10 or 11, will come out around Christmas! Yay! I hope you look forward to it! I know I do. In the meantime, I also had a couple of oneshot ideas I wanted to get to... Only if I have time though. School is still killing me, rest assured that that hasn't changed. XD

Please tell me what you think of this chapter below, and thanks again!


	10. note!

Hello to anyone who might still be interested in this story:

I have finally restarted it! The new version is up, and I will update it as often as I can.

If you are still around, thank you for sticking with me, and I hope you will continue to stick with me ;u;

I hope the new version is still to your liking- it will be mostly the same up to this point, but I am trying to be more concise and to-the-point in the new version.

I truly do wonder if there is anyone left who will read it... Because a lot of us have been feeling that the vocaloid archive has been more quiet lately.

So if you are still interested in this story, I would really appreciate hearing from you :)

Thank you for everything~ Rin and Len (SWB versions) also thank you!

(they do not thank me because I often make them suffer hehehe)


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